The first thing is making him realize that there is an issue, but this issue is so personal that I don't want to publicly identify him. I will refer to him as "The Man". I do so because he is referred to that by another friend in her blog, which was where I read that "The Man" was in trouble.
To help others help "The Man", I'll link to the blog entry that contains the startling observations about his problem.
The Night Fantastic: Via Italian Table
Now for those that didn't see where his problem was, I shall quote the relevant part.
The Man opted for the Italian Ice (which in and of itself nearly made me fall of my chair...no beer? What hath God wrought?) which is a mix of Hangar One lime vodka, limoncello, and sorbetto...
He drank a mixed drink with a cutesy name. The horror! This cutesy concoction contained lime vodka and sorbetto. And he drank this in public!!!!
If that is not a cry for help then I don't know what one is. Even Josie notices something is amiss.
That alone is not the issue. After all, trying out a new drink is generally acceptable, even if that drink may be "cutesy". And despite it containing fruit it did contain alcohol, so he does have that going for him. Had he just had the drink it could be easily explainable as just "trying something new"
But it went further. Much further.
I refer you again to the blog entry...
The Man ordered the Ragu of Italian Meats, because for The Man, being a carnivore isn't a food preference, it's a way of life and a fundamental principal. Via delivered big time here, serving up a huge helping of pasta topped with sauce and pork, a ginormous meatball, beef, chicken and sausage. I am deeply impressed with Via, since The Man...couldn't even finish it all!
"Couldn't even finish it all"?
Couldn't. Even. Finish. It. All.
He orders a cutesy drink, and then can't finish his meal? That confirms it, that is definitely a cry for help. "The Man" needs our help folks, and we must do everything in our power to help him through this personal struggle.
If you see "The Man" you should immediately drive him to the nearest Gentleman's club. Pay the cover charge for him. If the Gentlemen's club is out, take him to the nearest sporting event. As a last resort just bring him to a bar and buy him a beer. He's partial to Budweiser in those new aluminum bottles, so you may need to bring your debit card with you.
It is our personal duty to help friends in need, so we all must do what we can to help get "The Man" back on track no matter what it takes. He would do the same for us, so we should do no less for him.
Don't worry "The Man"--help is on its way.
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2 comments:
Errrrrmmmmm I will say that The Man could claim the Fancy Restaurant Rule, whereby it is okay to drink drinks that are not beer if it's a nice place. AND he did eventually switch to beer after the one drink, so he probably gets a pass.
And seriously, that was a TON of food. It was like trying to eat an entire cow. lol
Y'all can still take him out if you want though!
Ahhh, yes....the Fancy Restaurant Rule. That may apply, we'll have to get a ruling.
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