Friday, June 5, 2009

[Fiona] Holding On

The hardest thing to do is hold on. Be patient,wait,relax. I can not tell you the number of times in a week let alone in a single day just how many times dear Shrek tells me to relax. Shrek is more impatient than I am truth be told. His impatience is with other people; mine is with myself. I want to be happy NOW. I want what I want NOW. I pace, I get antsy, I whine. I am a pain in the ass.

I went shopping today for a dress. I worked myself into a lather. I couldn't find anything that fit me in an attractive way. Also I am in a strange age bracket. Most of the dresses I looked at need to be worn by young, hard bodies not a middle-aged cute woman trying to look pretty. As I went from store to store my impatience with the process and myself grew and grew.

I hate being between a rock and a hard place. It makes me feel like I can't win. No matter where I run I am right there. I can not get away from myself.

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