Today...I used to dread the arrival of this day. Yes, this day, during this month for the past four years. Today is her birthday. Today I celebrate her. My kid sister, Brenda.
She died almost five years ago in a car accident. It has taken me a long time in my grief to get to this point but I think I finally understand. It is okay to let go of the pain and hold onto something worth having. It is more important to remember who she was. I am certain in my heart that someday we will be together again,laughing in the sun. I feel it in my very being.
Brenda had a huge capacity for love. She loved with her whole being and if you belonged to her there was no question over how she felt about you. She had a beautiful smile and a contagious laugh. She was fair of face with locks of flame. She was my best friend and my sister. The joy she gave me goes on and on.
Whenever I dream about her we are laughing, just happy to be.
This winter I decided on my own that I needed to stop being angry and hurt over her death. She is gone but lives on; in my heart, in my memories and in the memories of the people she knew and loved. I was truly blessed to have her in my life for as long as I did. She helped me to become the person I am. She taught me so much: not to be afraid, to be patient, to have compassion, things too numerous to list here.
I miss her still. I think I always will.
LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE words she tried to live by, actions she tried to teach me. For her I will carry on.
Friday, February 6, 2009
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3 comments:
*hugs*
i'm glad you've gotten the joy of memories back. i lost my dad 2 years ago, on halloween. it used to be my favorite holiday. i hope one of these years it can be again.
Someday when you least expect it, you will feel a sense of peace. Once I came to realize that love never really goes away I started to feel better. Memories are just the reminder of how much we love. My thoughts sre with you. Thanks for the comment.
I GET it...that's for sure!
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