The Ramblings of a Couple Ogres

[Shrek and Fiona] We've Moved!!!!

2009-08-12T09:03:00.003-04:00

Yep, we're shutting down this blog and moving...to, well, an identical blog with a different URL.

Everything is (just about) exactly the same at our new home over at

http://theogres.blogspot.com

The reason for the move is a shorter URL, so some new friends will find us easier.

All the posts already here will stay here, and they are also mirrored at our new home.

We hope you'll all join us at our new place.

[Fiona] The Train Man

2009-08-09T18:15:00.005-04:00

The awe factor disappears with youth. That's what really separates children from adults. Perhaps it is just a casualty of growing up and seeing beyond the magic. I for one miss that sparkle of excitement over a new discovery. My dad and I struggle with his dementia. Somehow we manage. We laugh, we argue, we cry and sometimes together we discover that deep in our souls we still have the ability to be awed.

Recently one Sunday after church dad and I made a discovery. On the corner of a little side street down a short distance from our church we found the train man. The look on my dad's face, as he realized that the movement he'd caught was not an animal but an actual miniature railroad in fine working condition, was amazing. I stopped the car, put down the passenger window and told the man operating the train how cool dad and I thought his setup was. The train man said we should stop sometime and have a look.

Herb

I usually have my camera with me when I take dad out just because it helps keep life interesting. I want to make as many memories as I can with my dad before the curtain of dementia comes completely down and I lose him to it. As luck would have it I did not have my camera that day so dad and I drove away. I was a little disappointed and pretty sure that we would never be lucky like that anytime soon.

Most Saturdays I take dad out. We do everyday chores and goofy things and if time allows we go to mass. Much was our mission yesterday. I always make a list of every thing that needs to be done for both households; mine and dads. If I didn't mayhem would ensue. I am only one person and it is a near impossible task to remember everything for everybody and let's not forget about all the pets. So with list in hand and my camera I drove to dads to start our Saturday adventure. First stop after getting dad? The gas satation followed by DD and then off to the bank and the pharmacy. Like most people I am a creature of routine. I drive the same streets to get to the same markets and stores I go to.

Dad made a remark about how neat it would be if the train man was outside. So I changed my routine which paid off handsomely. Not only was the train man outside but he was working on his passion. I parked the car. I approached the chainlink fence surrounding his yard and asked him if it was ok if I took some photos. Happily he agreed.

There are three separate sets of tracks and trains. The trains go into the basement on bad weather days. The tracks are stainless steel so they stay put rain and/or shine. Herb,the train man,told me it has taken him nearly five years to get his front yard turned into a tiny working railyard. It has bulidings, people, vehicles and animals. The attention to detail is mind-blowing. Dad and I chatted with Herb for a good ten minutes and only left because chores needed to be done. Herb I thank you. You gave my dad something there are no words for, a new memory. He doesn't get many of those anymore. My dad talked about the train man all day.

[Shrek] King Once Again

2009-08-09T09:11:00.002-04:00

Last month I posted about the King of the Hill tournament at Colonial Lanes in Worcester. Well, sans the 44oz Diet Coke, I returned to defend my title. Even though I didn't need to arrive until later in the evening, I went for the start and stood around to watch the preliminary rounds.

The 5v4 match ended in a tie, with both bowlers having to bowl two additional boxes to break the tie. The rest of the matches weren't even close, which included my two string finals match. It was really over after 7 boxes when I threw 4 spares in a row (and had a fifth waived off because of a lob).

So next month I get to defend my title again...

[Shrek and Fiona] Theme Thursday 8-6

2009-08-06T00:10:00.000-04:00

Well folks, it's time for another edition of Theme Thursday. This week's theme is "KISS", and that turned out to be a lot harder than we thought it would be. Usually there are no real rules about Theme Thursday, but there was one specific rule mentioned for this week: keep it clean.

OK, that eliminated idea number one.

Our second idea was to post pictures of celebrities kissing each other, and turn it into a long chain of celeb #1 kissing #2, and then #2 kissing #3, and so on until #7 or #8 was back to kissing celeb #1. While not a bad idea, we couldn't get the chain beyond four celebs while still following the "keep it clean" directive.

So much for idea number two.

Doing something about the rock group KISS seemed to easy, but we did find one pic worth posting along that vein.

And there's another kissing pick that has made the rounds as the punchline to the joke about where the swine flu came from, and while we suspect many will post it the pic is funny enough to share again.

It's kind of ironic that KISS can also stand for "keep it simple stupid", because at this point it was anything but simple to come up with a good idea for the theme. We did find a few cute picks of kissing...

...but, in general, not really a great path to take as there really isn't anything there that results in a punchline.

But then we remembered one pic that follows every rule we need to follow...it's a kiss, it's clean, and it's funny. It's a picture of Cristie Kerr kissing the trophy she just received after winning the LPGA Longs Drugs Challenge at the Twelve Bridges Golf Club in Lincoln, California.

You can create your own punchline.

[Fiona] Tuesdays in the Summer

2009-08-05T15:45:00.010-04:00

I am a repeater. When I am cold or I don't feel well, I will tell you at least a half dozen times. It is just part of the charm that makes me who I am. Shrek has this silly rule. I can complain/whine about the same thing only twice and then I need to move onto a new subject and/or complaint. I think it's funny but it actually helps me most times to move on.

All except for Tuesdays.

It is a matter of fact I loathe Tuesdays for no particular reason and yet a few come to mind. Tuesdays in the summer simply means I have to bowl. I stink at bowling. I am a visually inspired person and, let's face it, there is nothing visually appealing about bowling. My mind wanders. I often throw that little ball in the gutter and it makes me get creative with my language (not ladylike in the least).

You may wonder why is it then that I participate in something that causes me so much angst? The short answer? The people.

I try to have some fun while my torment is on going. I like to laugh with Hilka and Pat is a real gem. My friend Chris taught me all about trying to do your best no matter what and I have to admit I look forward to seeing them each week. Yes bowling has been good for me in some ways. {{Don't tell anyone ;)}}

Fiona and Hilka

Pat

Chris

Dear Shrek joined a men's bowling league about ten years ago as a way to have a guy night out without causing too much mayhem. Skip is an old-time bowler and has been in the game 30 odd years. He is on Shrek's team in the mens league. Paul not only bowls but keeps the lanes in fine working order and has a vast knowledge of bowling greats past and present truly amazing.

Shrek

Skip

Paul

Shrek found he enjoyed doing something with the guys and it allowed us some together time. It was only a short jump to the summer mixed couple league and a request from the Big Guy about having our own team. Shrek likes when I do the things in his life that he enjoys even if it means I need to "make believe" I also enjoy said activity.

So now each summer for approximately 17 weeks I bitch, I moan, I get really angry. I laugh, I cry , I enjoy my friends. I hate going to the bowling alley but I adapt. I accept, I move on until...the next Tuesday dawns when it all begins again. I told you I was a repeater.

[Fiona] Tossing and Turning

2009-08-01T19:05:00.002-04:00

The funny thing is I am wide awake. I have never learned how to relax. It drives dear Shrek crazy. It drives me crazy. I have this inner drive that takes me nowhere. I feel much like a tornado in a jar. I really think it is anxious energy. If you are lucky enough to survive a dysfunctional childhood it is likely that you have indeed dragged along a few neurosis to keep you company. I like to call my issues the demons in my head. Self-loathing is the hardest obstacle to overcome. My mom never made it. My kid sister never got over it. I am pretty sure my older sister suffers with it. I struggle with it everyday. Why am I so accepting of everyone and their shortcomings but not of my own?

I used to have this fantasy that when I grew up all of the pieces of my life that lay scattered all around me would somehow miraculously fall into place and I would be the cool put together person I always dreamed I could be. I find that I am still trying to get the puzzle pieces to fit. So I toss and turn.

[Shrek] Ten Thousand And Counting

2009-08-01T18:23:00.003-04:00

Some of our new readers may not have heard, but earlier this year I was challenged to a bet for charity by a friend to read 10,000 pages in one calendar year.

Just moments ago, I broke the 10,000 page mark. Presuming my math is correct, I'm at 10,364.

The current list:
The Confession (Sheldon Siegel) ...423
My War (Andy Rooney) ...313
By Order of the President (W. E. B. Griffin) ...624
The Hostage (W. E. B. Griffin) ...750
The Hunters (W. E. B. Griffin) ...815
The Shooters (W. E. B. Griffin) ...737
Silent Snow (Steve Thayer) ...407
His Majesty's Dragon (Naomi Novik) ...356
Throne of Jade (Naomi Novik) ...400
Black Powder War (Naomi Novik) ...365
Empire of Ivory (Naomi Novik) ...400
God's Spy (Juan Gómez-Jurado) ...360
The Last Patriot (Brad Thor) ...480
Santa Olivia (Jacqueline Carey) ...341
Body Count (P.D. Martin) ...376
Victory of Eagles (Naomi Novik) ...376
Kushiel's Mercy (Jacqueline Carey) ...808
Empire (Orson Scott Card) ...351
Child 44 (Tom Rob Smith) ...509
Honor Bound (W. E. B. Griffin) ...550
Blood and Honor (W. E. B. Griffin) ...723

As I've done during the countdown to 10,000, I'll continue to list what I've read on the list to the right.

[Shrek and Fiona] Theme Thursday 7-30

2009-07-30T00:15:00.001-04:00

Well, it's Theme Thursday again, and seeing as we fired the staff after last week's debacle we're on our own to come up with an idea.

Oh, hold on a second...it's "button" and not "butt on"?

Looks like we need a new staff.

[Shrek] Congratulations Jim Rice

2009-07-26T18:50:00.004-04:00

Congratulations to Jim Rice, one of my boyhood heroes, on his induction to the Baseball Hall of Fame. If you ask me, it was fifteen years too late in coming.

[Shrek] BOLO: Tom Clancy

2009-07-26T07:45:00.004-04:00

When asked, I used to say Tom Clancy was my favorite author. I'm going to have to say that's not true anymore, and that he's been passed by W.E.B. Griffin on my list. I'm sure the reason for that is Clancy hasn't released a book in years (and his "latest", 2003's The Teeth of the Tiger, was terrible), while Griffin continues to pop out one great military thriller after another. Clancy has also been passed on my list by Vince Flynn and Brad Thor, two authors that are now as "hot" as Clancy was in his heyday.

I, of course, reserve the right to change my list if Clancy decides to release another book.

In a totally unrelated note--was Gilbert Gottfried ever funny? Fiona and I watched a One Night Stand On HBOcomedy last night, and in an episode obviously filmed in the mid '80's, Gottfried was spectacularly unfunny. I can't think of a single time I though he was even remotely amusing.

Since I mentioned my favorite author, I'll mention my favorite comedian is Lewis Black. For those that don't know who he is, he currently "stars" in a series of commercials for tourism in Aruba.

Contains some rated "R" language; not for the kiddies:

As someone that likes to tell jokes, I find the "science" of comedy very interesting. Perhaps someday I'll get into that more, but one thing I love to do is tell a joke and only have a handful of people in the room get it. That way the joke is twice as funny for some of us as we watch the folks that don't get it look perplexed.

Kind of like our Theme Thursday post.

[Shrek and Fiona] Theme Thursday 7-23

2009-07-23T00:30:00.002-04:00

It's Theme Thursday again, and this week the theme is "shoe". Unlike last week where we both had the same exact idea almost immediately, this week we tossed around lots of ideas, but none really seemed to stick.

There were the obvious ones...

We decided that we didn't want to go that route, that maybe we'd go off the beaten path a little and go this way.

But thinking about it, even this seems like a well traveled road, so we decided to get the staff together...

...and the idea they came up with was to look at some music.

We'd like to now announce that we have just fired the staff.

So it looks like we won't be participaring in Theme Thursday this week as we can't decide on how to go about it. I guess we'll just settle down for a nap and try again next week.

[Shrek] Thanks For One Last Ride

2009-07-19T19:58:00.003-04:00

Some do it on talent. Some do it on luck.

You did it with class.

Thanks for one last ride

[Shrek and Fiona] Theme Thursday 7-16

2009-07-16T01:00:00.002-04:00

We've decided to do something a little different, and we're jumping on the "Theme Thursday" bandwagon. Every week a different theme is selected, and several blogs (which are generally linked on the Theme Thursday page) each post on the given theme.

This week's theme is "stage"...so let's see what we can do with that.

Yeah, of course there's more to what you see. Can you figure it out?

[Fiona] Spider Web

2009-07-13T21:28:00.007-04:00

The frailty of life confounds me sometimes. Time marches on and for the most part people are strangely detached from the people in their lives that mean the most to them. I just don't understand. I used to be that type of person and then my kid sister died. Now I have the opposite issue I am hyper-aware of people. It saddens me on a level I have difficulty finding words to explain to the casual reader. I guess it is merely a case of living ones own life. People come in contact with you but are meant to move along their own strand like a delicate spider web.

We all weave our own patterns so delicate, beautiful and awe inspiring. Some people never know the impact they make on another. Like a gentle breeze or a downpour what a person contributes can change everything. I want to be that gentle breeze instead of the downpour.

[Shrek] Monday

2009-07-13T08:48:00.003-04:00

[Shrek] King Of The Hill

2009-07-12T12:38:00.001-04:00

As many of you know, one of my hobbies is candlepin bowling. I bowl in a couple of fall leagues and one in the summer. I do it for a night out with friends, and while one fall league is a very competitive league the other two I regularly bowl in are supposed to be for fun. I sometimes forget that it's supposed to be fun, but I am getting better at that. This summer I've had some issues remembering that because, well, for lack of a more family friendly term, I've sucked pretty badly.

My usual 110ish average has fallen to 98, and it is beginning to frustrate me. Just about everything that I can do wrong I'm doing, and as soon as I fix one thing something else starts falling apart. And even when I get it all together, I'm not catching any breaks, which causes even more frustration.

So it makes what happened last night more than a tad confusing.

On Saturday nights, there are mini-tournaments called "King of the Hill" at different bowling alleys across central Massachusetts. The only Saturday night in the month that didn't have one was the second Saturday, and to fill that gap a couple of guys I bowl with started one here in Worcester at Colonial Bowl, the place I normally bowl at. It being at my "home house" was the only reason I showed up.

So with my 44oz Diet Coke in hand and a stiff back, I showed up to see what was going on. Looking around at the number of people that were there, which included a few guys I knew, I figured I'd give it a shot....and I'm glad I did.

I have no idea how it happened, but everything began to click. I threw three great strings for a 353 triple, and because my average was so low I got a handicap of 72 pins for a 425 total. That was good enough to be the second seed in the ladder matches, where the 5th seed plays the 4th, and the winner of that match bowls the 3rd, and so on. The championship round is a two string final.

The 5v4 match was very high scoring, as was the next match. When it was my turn to bowl I had been standing around for twenty minutes and had cooled off a lot. My practice box was terrible, with me going back to not doing anything right. Luckily, that was the only time it happened. I was on fire in the match, throwing a 130-odd string to win it scratch.

That carried over early in the championship match, and it was a good thing. I haven't bowled more than three strings in a night in a very, very long time. Now toss in a bad back and I knew I needed to get out front quick. I won the first string by 11, and then ran out of gas. Lucky for me, my opponent wasn't getting many breaks and I was able to keep it over a 10 pin lead for the rest of the second string. In the last box I needed just a six to force him to throw a double strike, and with my seven drop on my first ball and him not throwing a strike I was the winner.

Next month I'm automatically the #1 seed, and only have to bowl in the championship match.

I do expect to get some razzing on Tuesday when I show up for my summer league night as the score sheets were collected by one of those bowlers to poke fun at my 98 average...a razzing I'll be more than happy to take.

[Shrek] Post Your Own Caption...

2009-07-10T20:23:00.002-04:00

President Obama feeling the stimulus kicking in.

[Shrek] Some Things That I Think...

2009-07-10T07:28:00.005-04:00

I think the Summer Nationals, the annual car show held at Green Hill Park and in downtown Worcester, are great for the city as a whole but bad for the neighborhoods that these cars drive through at all hours of the day and night. Perhaps it's because I'm not a "car guy", but I don't understand the need for people to peel out like they're playing Grand Theft Auto and make more noise than a heavy metal band while repeatedly driving up and down the street. I'd be interested to hear how much it costs the city to repair the damage done by the car show, and to clean up after the event.

+++++++++++++

I listen to WEEI's "Dennis and Callahan" morning show on the way to work, mostly because it's the station my radio is usually tuned too. They are basically both idiots, and if you listen long enough you'll hear that they often contradict their own supposed views on things. So imagine my surprise when they went on vacation this week and found an even bigger idiot to take their place in Michael Felger. Felger's only redeeming quality is he's married to Fox25's super-cutie news anchor Sara Underwood.

+++++++++++++

With the budget shortfall in the state, the Registry of Motor Vehicles has decided to close some offices and relocate some others. One of the ones to be relocated was the office previously in Southbridge, and it will be moved to the Charlton service area on the Eastbound side of the Mass Turnpike. It's a location the state already owns, so they won't have to pay rent on the new location.

Boy, that's great on paper, but as soon as I read the state was moving the office to that location my brain started thinking of questions I was pretty certain no one had thought of...

How do you get to the eastbound lanes to get to the service area from the westbound lanes?

And if you're going to use the Route 20 entrance to the service area as employees of the plaza can use, do you really expect people to stop on Rt20 to turn when that stretch of the road is in a 50mph zone? (And in Massachusetts, that means the minimum speed is really 60)

Or how about the fact there is no vehicle access to the service area from that Rt20 entrance, it's just access to a fenced in parking lot that you can park in before you walk into the service area. And it's not a short walk either, so elderly and handicapped folks will have issues making the trek. Oh, and that trek crosses two lanes of potential truck traffic entering the truck parking area from the service area.

Turns out, at least according to the Boston Globe, I was right and those questions weren't answered before the move was announced. Anybody wondering how much this "cost cutting" move will end up costing the tax payer?

+++++++++++++

Many people are shocked I didn't make a single post about the death of Michael Jackson. It's because I really didn't have anything to Say, Say, Say. Tremendous talent. Total loon.

[Shrek] Josie's Day

2009-07-05T16:52:00.018-04:00

While most of the country was celebrating July fourth by going to cookouts and scoffing down hot dogs and potato salad, Fiona and I spent the day at the wedding of our friends Rich and Josie at the sprawling Harding Allen Estate in Barre, Massachusetts, which is one of the coolest wedding/reception places in the area. And after what seemed like endless weeks of clouds and rain, the day could not have been better for their outdoor wedding.

As I was a groomsman, the event really began for Fiona and I Friday night at the rehearsal. Most people have a good idea about the ins and outs of being in a wedding party, so usually these rehearsals are just an excuse to get together before the wedding and relax before the next day’s festivities. This one was a little different because it was going to be a Quaker wedding, and for most of us it would be the first time we were introduced to anything about that religion. I’ll talk more about the ceremony later, but the rehearsal went very quickly and we had lots of time afterward to go into the estate and look around.

After we were finished our business in Barre we went to Josie parent’s house in Worcester for the rehearsal dinner. Despite the thunderstorm that chased everyone into the house it was a very nice gathering, with some great food catered by some company whose name I don’t remember. Rich, his best man Ray, and I spent most of the evening holding court on the back porch. Uncharacteristically, Rich was drinking water. And in character, Ray and I were not.

The high point, at least for me, was when Fiona was surprised with a birthday cake that was served for dessert. I had let Josie know when we got the invitation to the rehearsal dinner that Friday was Fiona’s birthday, and Josie jumped right in and got the caterer to make a cake for Fiona. Fiona was moved to tears by Josie's gesture, and then kept talking about how embarrassed she was for crying. She shouldn’t have been embarrassed, there’s nothing more genuine than sharing an emotional moment with a friend.

The next morning I arrived at the Harding Allen Estate at my appointed time, already dressed in my tux. I roamed around the lower level while Rich, Ray, and Dan were up changing, heading upstairs when summoned by Josie’s mom so she could pin a boutonnière on my jacket. It was a good thing I went up, as I was the only one who knew how to adjust the size of the ties we had. We hung around in the room for awhile waiting for Josie’s younger brother Peter to arrive. I learned yesterday that he’s seldom on time for anything, and is easily distractible.

The next part of the post I’ve written and edited half a dozen times, trying to get all the information correct about a Quaker wedding ceremony. It turns out I needn’t have done any of that, as Josie posted what happens at a Quaker wedding on her marriage blog. Because what she posted is generally what happened, I’ll link to that so you can read it if you wish, and just mention the small differences they did.

http://joandrich.blogspot.com/2009/05/how-quaker-wedding-works.html

Generally Meetings are done in a circle, but the layout of the lawn area made that impossible. So they went with the Clearness Committee sitting behind Rich and Josie, and Ray and Sarah, Josie’s sister and Maid of Honor, sitting aside of them. The groomsmen and bridesmaids, after making their way from behind the raised area, sat in the first row of seats.

I was paired with Josie's friend Celia, and as instructed, we walked down the stairs to the lawn and into the first row of chairs, with bridesmaids going to the right side and the groomsmen to the left. I think we were supposed to sit starting at the aisle, but Dan continued down the entire row and sat at the end, which happened to be in the shade. It was a good call on his part.

Now every wedding has a small thing that goes wrong, and I just happened to notice what it was as we were standing waiting for Rich and Josie to make their entrance--there were no chairs on the raised area for Ray or Sarah. Luckily Peter, who was the last in the row, was paying enough attention so when I whispered to him to grab a char and give it to Ray he did it. I walked across to the other side to grab one for Sarah, who had a look of “what am I supposed to do?” before she realized I was grabbing her a chair.

The silence of a Quaker Meeting is something that is odd for folks used to more traditional wedding service, but it was a cool experience, and I think it’s great that Josie chose to share that experience with all of us.

From that point on everything was just like you’d expect at a wedding, with the normal picture taking (and family bickering) going on. The reception was great, with Ray’s toast certainly being one of the highlights of the event. There was no head table, so I got to have dinner with Fiona and many of my “Sharks” friends.

Once the reception was over the bridal party stayed at the estate and had our own after party, where everyone was happy to be back in “normal” clothes. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that, to use Josie’s own words, she was wearing “the most God awful ensemble (she) could put together.”

Below are some pictures of the rehearsal dinner and wedding that Fiona took...when you click on the individual pictures they will show in a larger size.

Josie (center) gives us the rundown on how things are going to work. Rich is to the right, and the women on the left is the Events Coordinator for the estate.

Ray, the best man. The view is from the raised area where the ceremony will take place out toward where the visitors will be seated.

This is the walkway the bridal party would cover while heading to the ceremony. We entered by the gate on the right and then turned left, heading toward the camera.

This is the continuing view heading toward the area of the ceremony.

The reception hall.

The crowd gathers waiting for the ceremony to begin.

Shrek and Celia make their entrance.

A member of the Clearness Committee explains the traditions of a Quaker Meeting. I was about 10 feet away from her and could barely hear a word she said. I can't imagine anyone behind me could hear her at all.

Rich and Josie during an early portion of the Meeting.

Rich and Josie exchanging their vows. Despite the differences between weddings I was used to and a Quaker wedding, the vows were very similar.

Rich and Josie signing their marriage certificate. Fiona was unable to get a picture of it, so trust me when I say it is very cool looking.

The Meeting ends with everyone shaking hands.

Shrek and best man Ray

The bridal party. The girls, from left to right: Cecilie, Celia, and Luciana. Sarah (the maid of honor) is in the background over Cecilie's shoulder at the marriage certificate as the guests sign it. The guys, again from left to right: Shrek, Ray, Peter, and Dan.

[Shrek & Fiona] We Interrupt Our Regularly Scheduled Program...

2009-06-23T15:49:00.002-04:00

...so that we can make a public service announcement.

This is from an e-mail I was sent from WROR, 105.7FM out of Boston:

The international record labels are asking Congress for a handout and they want to take it from us. To put it simply, they want to charge us big fees to broadcast the music you love!

Local radio stations relationships with record labels and artists have always been positive… free play for free promotion, but this could all change for the negative if this performance tax is enforced.

How does this affect YOU?

Your favorite stations are likely to experience job cuts, stifled airplay, and have reduced ability to contribute to the community organizations and listening public who depend on local radio right here in Boston.

Please help us continue to provide great radio by signing our petition.

Thank you for your continued support of 105.7 WROR

Their petition can be found online at helpsaveradio.org...

[Shrek] You Can't Make This Stuff Up

2009-06-22T19:54:00.003-04:00

Fiona and I were just watching an NCIS repeat on USA Network, when an ad for a new prescription product was aired. The product's name is Latisse, and because it's not possible for me to type what it's used for without laughing hysterically I'll just post the link and you can see for yourself.

Latisse.com

I like to end each post with a punchline, but how the heck can I top that?

[Shrek] I Remember When...

2009-06-18T21:33:00.004-04:00

After work today Fiona and I were discussing a topic that, now that we've thought about it for awhile, is far more important than any topic you're bound to read about in any newspaper or hear about in any newscast today.

Cracker Jacks were a lot better when we were younger.

I realize times are tough, but how bad is it when there is no longer enough caramel on the popcorn to make your fingers sticky? And are peanuts so expensive that putting more than three or four in the bag causes significant profit loss?

Oh, yeah--and the bag. Cracker Jacks belong in a box and not in a foil bag.

They also managed to make the crappy "prizes" even crappier. Keep your damn tattoos and stickers, I want my magnifying glass back. Yeah, I know, you didn't get a magnifying glass in every box...but you knew you had a chance!!!! And if you were lucky enough to get one, every kid in the neighborhood came around so you could all burn ants with it.

I guess there is a silver lining in all this--there's now no chance PETA will be bothering little kids about killing bugs.

[Shrek] Fake Outrage Is Far More Comedy Than Letterman Intended

2009-06-16T11:07:00.004-04:00

Comedians tell jokes. Sometimes the jokes are funny, sometimes they aren't, and sometimes people aren't smart enough to get the joke. And often times the people that don't get the joke never realize the joke is on them.

I'm sure everyone has heard, or at least heard about, the joke Letterman told about Sarah Palin's daughter attending the Yankees game. "One awkward moment for Sarah Palin at the Yankee game, during the seventh inning, her daughter was knocked up by Alex Rodriguez.", was what Letterman said.

Letterman has since acknowledging the joke was "ugly," "cheap," and "in poor taste", and has apologized. In my opinion, along with it being those three things it was one thing that's far worse for a comedian--not very funny. It doesn't matter the age of Palin's children, nor which one went to the game, the joke doesn't really work.

But the fake outrage that has followed is high comedy indeed.

"I think that calling the former vice presidential candidate a slut or saying that her daughter was knocked up by Alex Rodriguez, I think everyone can agree that’s over the line," Washington Examiner correspondent Byron York told FOX News’ Greta Von Susteren. I don't know much about York, but those comments seem spot on to me.

"Letterman jokes about Palin's daughter. Way over the line. If it were my daughters I'd be furious. He should seriously apologize." Missouri Senator Claire McCaskill agreed, speaking out against Letterman on her Twitter page. I don't know much about Senator McCaskill either, but this seems spot on too.

So there are folks that seem to get it was just a joke that went bad, and have taken a reasonable stance about it. But there are some others...

"Acceptance of inappropriate sexual comments about an underage girl, who could be anyone's daughter, contributes to the atrociously high rate of sexual exploitation of minors by older men who use and abuse others," is Palin's comment. She added later, "It’s no wonder girls have such low self-esteem in America when a comedian can make a remark like this".

Really? I guess there are no billboards, magazines, or television in Alaska. Because if there were Palin would see that adding any comedian to the list of reasons why girls have low self-esteem is ludicrous.

Fox news and CNN are full of conservative talking heads, all trying to top each other, continuing the trend of pretending to be outraged over something most folks don't care one iota about. And I'm not the only one noticing the fake outrage makes these folks look silly

Mark McKinnon, a former campaign adviser to John McCain and George W. Bush said, "If the right goes after Letterman, they make him look big and themselves small." McKinnon added, "It's win-win for Letterman."

From Republican media consultant Fred Davis, a chief ad-maker for the McCain campaign: "I think it's a mistake too many conservatives are making right now. They are trying to find anything to attack." Davis may have had the best take on this, saying "Letterman apologized. He said it was over the line. He is a funny guy, and his job is to do sarcastic humor. That's his thing."

As I told my conservative friends in March, learn which battles to fight. This wasn't one that needed fighting, and you had no chance of winning it no matter what you did.

[Fiona] Holding On

2009-06-05T18:24:00.002-04:00

The hardest thing to do is hold on. Be patient,wait,relax. I can not tell you the number of times in a week let alone in a single day just how many times dear Shrek tells me to relax. Shrek is more impatient than I am truth be told. His impatience is with other people; mine is with myself. I want to be happy NOW. I want what I want NOW. I pace, I get antsy, I whine. I am a pain in the ass.

I went shopping today for a dress. I worked myself into a lather. I couldn't find anything that fit me in an attractive way. Also I am in a strange age bracket. Most of the dresses I looked at need to be worn by young, hard bodies not a middle-aged cute woman trying to look pretty. As I went from store to store my impatience with the process and myself grew and grew.

I hate being between a rock and a hard place. It makes me feel like I can't win. No matter where I run I am right there. I can not get away from myself.

[Shrek] Time for a vacation

2009-05-31T14:28:00.002-04:00

It took until May 31st, but I'm finally finished with hockey stuff for this season. Don't get me wrong, Worcester's extended play-off run was a great thing, but it's nice that I can finally take some time not involving hockey. The plan is, at least for now, to do nothing hockey related until Labor Day (excluding Booster Club stuff and a Sharks sidewalk sale later in June). This will be the first summer I've taken off from hockey since before the IceCats left town in 2005.

You'd think there being no team here in the summer of 2005 would have meant not doing anything hockey related, but in actuality it was like I had a second 40 hour a week job trying to get a team to move to Worcester.

I'm looking forward to reading the several stacks of paperbacks I have collected over the past few months, and I have to make a run to That's Entertainment soon to pick up some stuff they've been holding aside for me for, well, quite a while. I've also got a couple projects I'm thinking of starting, but perhaps thinking about excuses not to do them will be easier.

Unfortunately, this summer's movies look like a lot of garbage. Fiona and I have already seen Star Trek (it was great, and we highly recommend it), and Fiona will want to see Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince so we'll no doubt catch that. We're thinking about catching State of Play at the West Boylston Cinema (our favorite second run movie place), but our schedules don't really mesh for when it's playing, so that may not happen. The rest of the summer movie releases look like crap.

But I'm sure I'll find something to keep me busy...

[Fiona] Queries

2009-05-21T19:17:00.002-04:00

Questions...everyone who inhabits this planet has questions. Here's a few of mine, where are the answers? Who has them? and why won't they enlighten me?

[Shrek] Learn Something New Every Day

2009-04-26T18:14:00.002-04:00

One of my goals in life is to learn something new every day. There is an adage that says "all knowledge is worth knowing", and I firmly believe that's true. Sure, some of the stuff we learn is worthless unless we're playing Trivial Pursuit, but in general having a wide base of knowledge is a good thing. For me, learning something new when you least expect it is the best...and that's what happened to Fiona and I Friday afternoon.

We were heading out to the Super Walmart in Leicester after work when our "low fuel" light came on. We were planning on stopping for gas anyway, but the idiot light served as a good reminder for us to not forget. As we pulled into the gas station, we saw a man filling what looked to be milk cans with gas. It turns out the man was an inspector for Irving Oil (the company who owned the gas station), measuring the pumps to make sure they were dispensing the correct amount of gas.

We've all seen the stickers on the pumps certifying they pump the correct amounts, but who here has ever seen someone actually checking them? It seems Irving Oil checks every pump once a quarter, while the state only checks once a year.

It turns out there's more than one test. First they check to make sure it pumps exactly one gallon by, you guessed it, filling it to a line in the can at one gallon. That part seemed obvious enough. But then they weigh it, and depending on the temperature and humidity (I'm pretty sure he said humidity), it has to match what the chart says it should weight, within 2 grams. Then on top of that, they do it again, this time using a two gallon measurement. They do that for every octane the fuel pump dispenses.

Fiona asked the guy why hardly anyone ever sees this being done, and he replied that it's usually done on Sunday mornings when traffic is light, but because the weather was going to be so nice he wanted to get the job done as early as possible so he could enjoy the weekend with his family.

So the next time you're out on an early Sunday morning, take a peak at your local filling station to see of you spot the guy with the milk cans. At least you'll know what he's doing. Oh, and how often to pumps fail the measuring test? According to the guy, unless they're tampered with, just about never.

So I guess that's two things I learned on Friday.

[Fiona] Love is...

2009-04-06T16:07:00.007-04:00

I started taking my Dad to church on Sundays sometime in September of 2008. He was just in car accident and was a little unsteady on his feet. I told myself that I was doing it for his own good and for my peace of mind. My pops worked a physically demanding job his whole life. Needless to say that now in his "leisure" years he is often in pain from arthritis and old injuries.

Isn't aging grand?

In the beginning I would drop him off at the church steps and then go run errands. Slowly something started to change. I found myself thinking that I should go with him. One day my Dad stumbled coming down the steps so the very next Sunday I started going to church with my dad. I am a lifelong non-practicing Catholic. It is not something I am proud of. It is just that the Church has never really spoken for me or the things that I believe in.

I may never resolve all of the issues that I have with the church as an entity but for now I think I get why it is such a big draw for my Dad. There is love. It exists quietly and waits patiently. The parish priest, the deacons and the sister genuinely love their flock. I see it. In the way they greet those that come to Mass and in the questions they ask about your loved ones. I look forward to taking my dad to church. Love is...right where it has always been waiting for you to find it.

I love my dad. It is my job alone to make sure he is ok. I take him to the doctor, to the bank and pretty much eveywhere and everything else he has to do. He is memory challenged and so he is in need of my involvment. I think we make a good team. Sometimes we argue. We are both stubborn. I would do anything for him. He has done so much for me in the course of my life.

[Shrek] Some eBay Tips For Sellers

2009-04-06T15:17:00.003-04:00

Lately I've been surfing eBay to fill in some holes in my bookshelf. I hate to read a series out of order so if I'm missing a book or two from a series I prefer to grab them at Annie's Book Swap or eBay.

One thing I've also been doing is going through the wholesale lots on eBay to grab whole series from authors I like. In doing so, I see a lot of things sellers are doing wrong in that category. Even though I doubt any of those sellers will read this, I feel compelled to offer them some advice.

1) Look to see what everyone else is selling.
The number of sellers listing the same things are pretty high, and it's funny to see a bunch of sellers staring their lots at a low price and another couple starting nearly identical lots for five to ten times more. Unless you've got something different, don't expect to make a fortune selling book lots.

2) If you have romance books to sell, save your time and throw them away.
Don't take my word for it, use the search function. People that read romance books must not know how to use the internet, because the vast majority of lots don't get bids. Yours won't either, trust me.

3) Learn your genres
Science fiction and horror/suspense are not the same thing. Political thrillers and war novels aren't the same thing either. Don't put them together and expect bids. And another thing you shouldn't mix together: male and female writers of any genre. Lots of readers have a preference for one or the other. Mixing them, unless you find the right reader, reduces the number of bidders you get.

4) List the books in the lot, and have a picture of the covers
And don't do just one or the other unless you have no choice. I have a list of books I'm looking for, and if you don't list the books in the lot I can't decide if I'm going to bid or not. Having a picture of the covers helps for the folks that are more visual.

5) Multiples of the same book is a no-no
Listing a lot of four of the same book is dumb, even if it's a book people might care about. Listing a lot of four of the same book that no one cares about is just a waste of time and money.

6) Don't bother listing your book as "HTF"
When there were thirty listed in the last month, and a hundred available in the eBay stores, "hard to find" seems like a silly thing to say. Plus if it's a paperback released in the last ten years, it ain't "HTF" under any definition of the phrase.

There's a ton more stuff I could list, but as I have to snipe an auction in 3 minutes I'll have to leave it at this...for now.

[Shrek] I Couldn't Care Less

2009-03-22T07:55:00.003-04:00

Lots of people totally mangle the English language when they speak. Part of it is laziness, part of is regional dialect, and I'm sure there's a small amount of wanting to sound more educated/intelligent than they really are. When I hear someone butchering the language I usually just smile inside and don't correct the person. I couldn't care less how someone speaks, only that they can clearly communicate what they are trying to say.

What I could care less about is writers, especially professionals, that can't spend just a few precious seconds making sure they're using their idioms correctly. If you're going to spend time putting thought to words, how about trying to express yourself in a manner that makes at least a little sense.

Do you see what I did there, or could you care less?

[Shrek] One Year; Ten Thousand Pages

2009-03-20T10:57:00.005-04:00

I have recently accepted a wager that I could read 10,000 pages worth of novels, biographies, etc. It's not a significant amount of money, and it all goes to charity, but seeing as I was planning on reading at least a little this year it seemed like a pretty easy bet to make. The person I'm wagering says it's not possible considering the schedule I keep. He should have taken a closer look at the math:

10,000 pages / 365 days = 28 pages per day.

I read more than that now.

The rules are simple, I can only read books that I would have read if I weren't involved in a bet, and magazines and newspapers don't count; it's only about books. So everyone can follow along, I've listed the books I've already read and the total number of pages. Check back fairly often for updates.

Since I was adding stuff to the layout, I finally got around to adding a couple more links the the list. The first is a list of book reviews The Outlaw Josie is doing as part of a project called "Cannonball Read", which is an attempt to read 100 books in a year and write reviews for each one. The second is a blog based on David Lynch's fiction.

[Fiona] OMG Facebook

2009-03-18T20:55:00.003-04:00

Okay so I am a weenie. I should know better. The true definiton of stupid...doing the same thing over and over hoping for a different outcome when there is only one solution. I could not get out of high school fast enough. Small town girl, small time world. I wanted bigger and better. I wanted to be accepted for who I knew I was. Kids can be so unkind. Put you in a box and glue the lid down.

What the hell was I thinking when I joined Facebook. On the surface it seemed harmless. A person sends out a few be my friend requests to relatives and some kids from back in the day who "got" you. The next thing you know people you don't remember find you. Or better yet the ones who still want to step on your neck find you,try to throw you back in the box and glue the lid back on.

It took me almost all of my adult days to come into myself. To like me. I will never know why I didn't measure up in their eyes. Why I wasn't good enough for them. For real it doesn't even matter. In spite of their best efforts I survived. They don't even know what they missed.

Surprise! I am not the same girl from high school and then again in some ways yes, I am the same girl. Today I was pleasantly rewarded with the company of someone from my past. Someone who "got me" even back then. We reconnected through the courtesy of Facebook and made plans to meet for coffee and chat and catch up. I will wholeheartedly admit I was beyond nervous. Twenty plus years has a way of changing people. I know I have changed.

We met at Friendly's in the town we grew up in. I felt like that gunslinger you see in bad westerns walking into a saloon. I just wasn't sure what to expect. What was I going to say. I don't remember all the things we talked about. I can tell you we laughed and almost cried and I know from my side of the table I saw that same friend from days gone by who still "gets" me. Sometimes it is difficult to articulate to someone what they mean to you or how they have affected your life. I just want to say thank you for being the great person you have always been.

[Shrek] A Message For My Conservative Friends

2009-03-18T16:53:00.003-04:00

OK folks, this message is really just for my friends who are on the "right" of the political center line. I didn't think I'd need to make a post like this, but recent talk radio comments and political blogs have shown to me that you conservatives need some helpful advice:

Learn which battles to fight.

Remember how silly the liberals looked when they fought every single battle they could find while the previous administration was in the White House, no matter how dumb or trivial it was? That's how silly you look now.

What's raised the ire of the conservatives here in the Commonwealth lately is our governor, Deval Patrick, going on vacation to the Caribbean and taking his State Police body guards with him. The State Police body guards are, not shockingly, paid with tax dollars, and many folks think we shouldn't be wasting tax dollars on protection for our traveling governor.

Well, our two previous governors, both Republicans, also had State Police protection when they traveled. Was money being wasted in those cases, especially when one of those two was running for President and was spending lots of time in New Hampshire and Iowa?

No one will find it odd that these folks that are complaining are saying that the issue they now have is that in our current economic situation we should be cutting all wasteful spending in light of all the projected drops in revenue for the state.

The obvious conclusion is they think wasting money when there isn't an economic crisis is OK.

So you see, not exactly the point people are trying to make.

Listen, if people want to give Governor Patrick crap because he gave State Senator Marian Walsh a $175,000-a-year job as an assistant director at a state bonding authority, a position that had sat vacant for more than a dozen years, I'll stand with you.

If people want to give Governor Patrick crap because he wants to add 19 cents per gallon to the current gas tax, making it the highest in the nation, I'll stand with you.

If people want to give Governor Patrick crap because he wants to raise the tolls on the Mass Pike...well, sorry, you're on your own there. I don't use the Pike, so that's a battle I'm not going to fight.

See, it's a lesson I've already learned.

[Shrek] John Stewart Is Teh Awesome!

2009-03-07T15:43:00.002-05:00

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

CNBC Gives Financial Advice

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things With Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Joke of the Day

[Shrek] Why I Love Hockey

2009-03-02T08:55:00.003-05:00

People ask why I love hockey, and sometimes it's hard to answer that question without sounding like a raving lunatic. But I will do my best here...

People generally see hockey as grown men beating the crap out of each other, and every once in awhile trying to score a goal to win a game. While fighting is a part of the sport, it almost always isn't an expression of violence, but an expression of their passion for the sport and the intensity of the competition.

Hockey is the fastest and most violent of the major sports, but it can also be the most beautiful to watch.

But, yes...as I have mentioned above passions do occasionally spill over. And those passions never run higher than when representing your country. So I now present to you the coolest hockey story I have read in a long while. It's a story about the US Sledge Hockey team at the Hockey Canada Cup.

There is a video after the text.

Canadian victory over U.S. includes line brawl

VANCOUVER - They may be missing legs to amputation or birth defects. Some are paraplegics or have other lower-body afflictions that have rendered their legs useless.

But they never said they were choirboys. And their fists still work - as a crowd of 1,200 learned Wednesday night.

An emotion-charged Canada-U.S. sledge hockey game at UBC Arena featured a line brawl with 1.7 seconds remaining after Canadian goaltender Paul Rosen was rammed by American Taylor Chace after he froze the puck.

"I just thought he was going to peel off a little and I would just kill the clock," said the feisty, 48-year-old Rosen after Canada's 2-1 win in round- robin play of the Hockey Canada Cup.

"Once I looked up and realized how close he was," added Rosen with a wry smile, "(well) I love physical hockey."

Captain Jean Labonte immediately came to Rosen's defence and pretty soon all the players on the ice were in a big scrum, some clearly throwing punches with their gloves still on.

"Very nice guy. Dear friend of mine," Rosen, tongue firmly planted in his cheek, said of Chace. "Going out for Christmas dinner."

Two Canadians - forwards Billy Bridges and Greg Westlake - were landing punches, but were only assessed roughing and misconduct penalties, while Chace got a double minor and a misconduct. American Andy Yohe was inexplicably not penalized, although he did come in from behind on Bridges at one point with his fists flailing.

Under IIHF rules, players assessed fighting majors are suspended for the next game and one Team Canada official figured referee Derek Berkebile of the U. S. was showing a bit of leniency in not handing out any majors.

After the final second ticked off the clock - and Canadian defenceman Ray Grassi tried to get at an American as the buzzer went - Berkebile went to both teams separately and talked to them for about a minute before the teams, somewhat reluctantly it appeared, went through the traditional post-game handshake.

Bridges, who scored both Canadian goals in the first period, said Chace "two-handed" Rosen and "we've just got to protect our goalie."

"It was a good scrum," added Bridges, who said he didn't think the melee would sully the sport's image.

"We're fighting day and night to proclaim ourselves as a good sport. Obviously that doesn't define our sport, but it's a part of it. We play a physical game and we're very competitive and that's what it's all about."

Canada will play Japan in the final round-robin game Thursday. The Japanese are also 2-0 after beating Germany 4-1 on Wednesday

.

After watching that, how can you not be a fan?

[Fiona] Today is for Brenda

2009-02-06T17:52:00.005-05:00

Today...I used to dread the arrival of this day. Yes, this day, during this month for the past four years. Today is her birthday. Today I celebrate her. My kid sister, Brenda.

She died almost five years ago in a car accident. It has taken me a long time in my grief to get to this point but I think I finally understand. It is okay to let go of the pain and hold onto something worth having. It is more important to remember who she was. I am certain in my heart that someday we will be together again,laughing in the sun. I feel it in my very being.

Brenda had a huge capacity for love. She loved with her whole being and if you belonged to her there was no question over how she felt about you. She had a beautiful smile and a contagious laugh. She was fair of face with locks of flame. She was my best friend and my sister. The joy she gave me goes on and on.
Whenever I dream about her we are laughing, just happy to be.

This winter I decided on my own that I needed to stop being angry and hurt over her death. She is gone but lives on; in my heart, in my memories and in the memories of the people she knew and loved. I was truly blessed to have her in my life for as long as I did. She helped me to become the person I am. She taught me so much: not to be afraid, to be patient, to have compassion, things too numerous to list here.

I miss her still. I think I always will.

LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE words she tried to live by, actions she tried to teach me. For her I will carry on.

[Shrek] One Toke Over The Line

2009-02-04T11:33:00.004-05:00

Apparently the world is about to come to an end. Yep, it seems that something so grotesque has happened that civilization as we know it is about to cease to exist, to be replaced by lawlessness and anarchy.

Michael Phelps got caught smoking weed.

OH NO, WHAT WILL WE EVER DO!?!?!?!?!

I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to go about my life like it never happened. I personally don't care he was smoking weed. He's a 23 year old that has won 14 Olympic gold medals, is an 18 time World Champion, and has broken world records 32 times and is currently the holder of seven world records.

Sounds like a damn troublemaker to me.

I understand the argument "pot is illegal", but let's be honest here; marijuana is only illegal because the government can't figure out a way to tax it. Tobacco is legal because it can't easily be grown in vast quantities at home, and is easily taxed at distribution points. The same is true with alcohol, tough to make large quantities in, and is also easily taxed at manufacturers.

Marijuana, on the other hand, is easily grown in just about any environment which makes collecting taxes on it near impossible. In fact, nearly half of all states have laws that tax the sale of pot, and have used those laws to charge folks caught with large amounts of weed with tax evasion. If they could find a way to actually collect that tax, trust me, it would be legal.

I'm also laughing at the folks that say Phelps should be charged. There is a sheriff in South Carolina, who I won't name but will refer to as "Attention Whore", that is saying he "would file charges against Phelps if he determines the swimmer smoked marijuana in (his) county."

Based on a picture? Really? How many prosecutions happen in that county based on pictures on Myspace, Facebook, et al? There are lots of pictures of under-aged drinking on those type of sites, so there must be someone from Richland County--where the Phelps picture was allegedly taken--going through them trying to find evidence of other crimes they can prosecute, right?

Ladies and Gentleman, your tax dollars in action.

I'm also not very happy with folks that claim this will somehow hurt children because Phelps is supposed to be a role model for them. Supposed to be a role model? Here's an idea, why don't you parent your kids correctly and you be their role model? Talk to your kids about what you believe is right or wrong, and don't rely on some athlete or celebrity to fill a gap in your child's life that you should be filling.

Of course, if you actually took some responsibility over your children you'd have no one to blame if they turned out to be an axe murderer, child molester, or worse, a pot smoking Olympic champion.

[Shrek] Give Me That Cup Of Fat, Hold The Caffeine

2009-01-28T07:05:00.005-05:00

I just saw this news story while making my normal morning "internet rounds" seeing what important things are happening here on planet Earth.

Starbucks Stops Brewing Decaf After Noon
(CBS) Starbucks customers who are used to getting their decaf grande mochachino after lunch will have to wait a little longer than usual to get their fix.

Caffeine-free coffee will be made-to-order only after noon, which should add about four minutes to the wait time, according to an e-mail statement from the company issued Tuesday.

"For many of our stores, the demand for decaf is greatly reduced in the afternoon," the company said in the statement. "With our current standard of continually brewing decaf after 12 p.m. regardless of demand, we have seen a high amount of waste."

Bloomberg reports that the world's largest coffee chain is cutting off the decaf after noon in an effort to save $400 million in the next eight months.

Something confuses me here...why the hell would you order a decaf at Starbucks anyway?

If you're ordering a Venti "Mint Chocolaty Chip Frappuccino blended creme with Chocolate Whipped Cream", a 680 calorie monstrosity that has more fat than a Quarter Pounder with cheese, more cholesterol than an order of six piece chicken McNuggets, and contains about a quarter of the recommended maximum amount of sodium a person should intake, is caffeine really the problem?

(I won't even get into that whole "venti" thing. Just get over yourselves and call it a large like everyone else does).

For the record, I've only had Starbucks coffee twice. The first time it was terrible. The second time was because I couldn't believe how terrible it was the first time, thinking that perhaps it was just a bad pot. It wasn't. It sucks.

[Fiona] Old Eyebones

2009-01-20T21:27:00.005-05:00

Wow ! Another year begins. I am getting bifocals...crap. I have dreaded this moment. I knew that someday in my life the time would arrive when I would be on the other side of my youth. The decline begins. How's that for melodrama?

I was not overly surprised or disappointed when I went to my eye guy today. I have been having a difficult time focusing on small print for awhile and my eyebones have felt stressed and overworked. Just imagine if we could fix all of our problems with new glasses. The world really could be a happier place and that stupid phrase,"views the world through rose-colored glasses" might actually gain some true meaning.

Eyeglasses are stupidly expensive! Both hubby and I are getting new glasses. The company we work for offers reimbursement. Still, wow, what a chunk of change we are dropping. It has to be tough if everyone in a family needs glasses.

[Fiona] Oh And Did I Mention...

2009-01-16T16:26:00.003-05:00

that I am fearful of clowns? Yeah, well stop laughing I am not the only one and let's face it they are beyond spooky. Whenever I tell someone that I don't enjoy clowns I get asked pretty much the same thing. Really? Why not?

The medical term for it is coulrophobia. I don't accept that my phobia is an irrational fear. I don't like people in masks as a rule. Safe to bet I will never be a good bank robber; I couldn't handle the costuming. I just feel that when a person dons a mask or paints over their features that they are really trying to hide their true selves from you. It makes me feel uneasy. Like I can't trust them. I never liked trick or treat. I like the concept(well the candy, ok!?!); I don't enjoy the costumes. Odd because I like the macabre and I like to fancy myself a Goth chick from a way back.

I can remember being a small child in the beginning grades and crying that I didn't want candy. The whole concept of dressing up and begging for junk food from strangers scared the beejezus out of me even back then. I know my fear comes from a neighborhood kid jumping out at me dressed in full costume. I peed myself because I thought he/she was going to hurt me. I didn't like not knowing who my attacker was.

While I am on the subject of things that I don't enjoy let's spend a moment with dolls. They turn my stomach to knots...so lifelike and yet not real. I harbor this fear that they will come to life and want me to rescue them.

[Shrek] More Than Welcome?

2009-01-16T07:55:00.003-05:00

Just a few minutes ago a received an e-mail from a friend about a gathering we're planning in late February, asking if it was OK if another friend of the group joins us that evening. Without hesitation I replied that person was more than welcome to join us.

And as I sit here I'm wondering...what does "more than welcome" even mean?

I typed it automatically as I wanted to convey that person is welcomed to join us. But "more than welcome"? And exactly at what state does someone move from just being plain old "welcome" to "more than welcome"? Are some friends just "welcome" and others "more than welcome"? And how much more?

I know what "less than welcome" means: you're not invited.

But "more than welcome"? I guess I'll have to work on that.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

My previous post got a lot of talk on a couple of the message board forums I post on about which is better: older music or newer music. And it was the younger crowd that was the most vocal, saying "their music" was much better than what was put out before.

Being the voice of reason...(OK, I'll pause for a few seconds while you stop laughing)...To me it's not a question of better or worse, it's just that music evolves from one period to the next. And sometimes that evolution passes you by, moving in directions your personal tastes dislike.

One dim bulb mentioned that a group like The Beatles would never be able to make it in music today. Well, that's probably true, except for the fact that music is where it is today because of groups like The Beatles. When it comes to things artistic, what came before influences what comes after. Some things are crap and are usually quickly forgotten, while others stand out and influence the works of artists forever.

I'm just waiting for some group to claim Culture Club as their primary influence...

[Shrek] Who Are You?

2009-01-09T12:33:00.003-05:00

A few weeks ago I was browsing through the new CDs at WalMart, and it kind of bothered me that I didn't have any clue who 90% of the artists were. I became a little disheartened when I overheard one of the employees talking to (READ: hitting on) a young lady just down the aisle from me.

"Yeah these guys are real good...it sucks we can't play their music here, we have to play this crap instead. Those old guys just don't rock it anymore"

Now I have no idea what group he was saying he'd rather play, but I know the "old guys" that don't "rock it anymore" were The Who because there was some sort of concert video being played on a couple of the monitors in the electronic area.

Don't rock it anymore? I beg to differ....

My Generation

I Can't Explain

The Kids Are Alright

Who Are You?

Won't Get Fooled Again

[Fiona] Once Upon A...

2008-12-27T18:29:00.003-05:00

Time. We are all to some degree obsessed with time. There never seems to be enough time. What time we do have we waste. Time is not likely to be saved or savored. Time is elusive. You think you have a handle on it only to find out you didn't have as much of it as you needed. It drives me crazy. I don't know if anybody out in blog land noticed that I haven't blogged any entries in quite some time. That would be because my head was lodged very far into my butt cheeks. I am sorry. I started blogging as a method to keep my sanity in check. Somehow I let that nasty critter time get away from me and I have been having a bitch of a time getting any time to blog. Thus the naming of my post. I will try to be better about that. Later...when I can find the time...;^)

[Shrek & Fiona] Our Heartfelt Holiday Message

2008-12-23T11:00:00.000-05:00

As we are now in the holiday season, please accept our heartfelt holiday greeting:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2009, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "America" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Any and all applicable taxes that arise from accepting this greeting are the sole responsibility of the wishee.

Yours neutrally,
Shrek & Fiona

[Shrek] To all our Jewish friends...

2008-12-22T14:57:00.000-05:00

...HAPPY CHAKA KHANIKAH!!!!

[Shrek] Semper Fi

2008-11-25T10:41:00.002-05:00

Both Fiona and I have been busy as of late, so as I work on a "real" posting, I thought I'd share this story from the Marine Corps News, via military.com...

Marine Makes Insurgents Pay the Price

November 18, 2008
Marine Corps News|by Cpl. James M. Mercure

FARAH PROVINCE, Afghanistan — In the city of Shewan, approximately 250 insurgents ambushed 30 Marines and paid a heavy price for it.

Shewan has historically been a safe haven for insurgents, who used to plan and stage attacks against Coalition Forces in the Bala Baluk district. The city is home to several major insurgent leaders. Reports indicate that more than 250 full time fighters reside in the city and in the surrounding villages.

Shewan had been a thorn in the side of Task Force 2d Battalion, 7th Marine Regiment, Special Purpose Marine Air Ground Task Force Afghanistan throughout the Marines’ deployment here in support of Operation Enduring Freedom, because it controls an important supply route into the Bala Baluk district. Opening the route was key to continuing combat operations in the area.

“The day started out with a 10-kilometer patrol with elements mounted and dismounted, so by the time we got to Shewan, we were pretty beat,” said a designated marksman who requested to remain unidentified. “Our vehicles came under a barrage of enemy RPGs (rocket propelled grenades) and machine gun fire. One of our ‘humvees’ was disabled from RPG fire, and the Marines inside dismounted and laid down suppression fire so they could evacuate a Marine who was knocked unconscious from the blast.”

The vicious attack that left the humvee destroyed and several of the Marines pinned down in the kill zone sparked an intense eight-hour battle as the platoon desperately fought to recover their comrades. After recovering the Marines trapped in the kill zone, another platoon sergeant personally led numerous attacks on enemy fortified positions while the platoon fought house to house and trench to trench in order to clear through the enemy ambush site.

“The biggest thing to take from that day is what Marines can accomplish when they’re given the opportunity to fight,” the sniper said. “A small group of Marines met a numerically superior force and embarrassed them in their own backyard. The insurgents told the townspeople that they were stronger than the Americans, and that day we showed them they were wrong.”

During the battle, the designated marksman single handedly thwarted a company-sized enemy RPG and machinegun ambush by reportedly killing 20 enemy fighters with his devastatingly accurate precision fire. He selflessly exposed himself time and again to intense enemy fire during a critical point in the eight-hour battle for Shewan in order to kill any enemy combatants who attempted to engage or maneuver on the Marines in the kill zone.

What made his actions even more impressive was the fact that he didn’t miss any shots, despite the enemies’ rounds impacting within a foot of his fighting position.

“I was in my own little world,” the young corporal said. “I wasn’t even aware of a lot of the rounds impacting near my position, because I was concentrating so hard on making sure my rounds were on target.”

After calling for close-air support, the small group of Marines pushed forward and broke the enemies’ spirit as many of them dropped their weapons and fled the battlefield. At the end of the battle, the Marines had reduced an enemy stronghold, killed more than 50 insurgents and wounded several more.

“I didn’t realize how many bad guys there were until we had broken through the enemies’ lines and forced them to retreat. It was roughly 250 insurgents against 30 of us,” the corporal said. “It was a good day for the Marine Corps. We killed a lot of bad guys, and none of our guys were seriously injured.”

I am reminded of a quote by Gen. William Thornson, US Army..."There are only two kinds of people that understand Marines: the Marines and the enemy. Everyone else has a secondhand opinion."

My best guess is that "young corporal" is 20 years old. Think about what you were doing at age 20, and then think about what the young men and women serving overseas are doing as you read this.

So as we approach Thanksgiving, a day where most of us gorge ourselves on turkey and all the fixings, how about we spend just a few minutes thinking of those that aren't home this holiday season, and how they volunteered to be away from their homes so we could be safe in ours.

[Shrek] Some Words

2008-11-08T10:12:00.003-05:00

Anti-American
Big Government Loving
Communists
Clueless
Elitist
Godless
Immoral
Lefties
Liberals
Marxists
Progressives
Radicals
Socialists
Tax Raisers
Tree Huggers
Unpatriotic

Winners

[Shrek] A mostly non-political Sarah Palin post?

2008-10-25T08:17:00.007-04:00

Unless you've been hiding under a rock these last few weeks, you know who Sarah Palin is. Depending on your political leanings, she's either the best thing since sliced bread or she, well, isn't.

I'm starting to think she's the best thing since sliced bread. Nope, it has nothing to do with her being a "hottie". Nor does it have to do with her $125,000 wardrobe and make-up purchases. And it certainly isn't for her political beliefs.

It's because she's a "Hockey Mom".

Yep, after all these years we finally have a candidate that's really into the coolest sport on Earth--ice hockey. Because of that, she's been invited to several NHL games to make the ceremonial puck drop.

Her first puck drop was in Philadelphia where one of my most hated teams plays, the Flyers. After her puck drop, the Flyers, who were predicted to be one of the top teams in their division, are in next to last place with just five points in seven games and are 10 points out of first place.

WAY TO GO SARAH!!!!!

Her second puck drop was last night in St Louis at the Blues game. St Louis once owned the minor league hockey team here in Worcester, only to steal it away five years ago and then lie through their teeth about trying to find local ownership and many other issues.

It would be hard to make the Blues, who already are in the bottom tier of NHL teams, any worse...but my girl Sarah looks to have done it. Never mind the Blues lost the LA Kings (one of the few teams worse than the Blues) 4-0, but while skating out to his net Blues goaltender Manny Legace tripped over the carpet that Sarah and her kids were going to walk onto the ice on and hurt his hip. He had to leave the game after one period and will miss at least their next game.

YOU GO GIRL!!!!!

And my love for Sarah is starting to spread, even to Lagace himself!!!! "I’m starting to like her more and more. No grudge." Lagace told the Associated Press after the game.

So in just two puck drops, Sarah Palin has managed to do harm to two teams I root against. Let's be honest, how much more could I have hoped for?

I have taken it upon myself to e-mail the McCain/Palin campaign to suggest a few other teams she could drop pucks for, starting with the New York Rangers. Yes, I know New York is a solid "blue state", but I think her dropping the puck at a Rangers home game would be great for me...errr...the country.

And since she won't be too far from New jersey, she could always swing down to the Meadowlands and drop the puck at a Devils' game while she's in the Northeast. And by dropping it at two buildings so close to each other she'll use less fossil fuels, making the tree-huggers happy. Win-Win, if you ask me.

She could also get some foreign policy experience by heading to Canada and dropping a puck at a Montreal Canadiens game. Perhaps she could even do it for a couple of games there.

Now the best part...in a recent article in the Washington Post Sarah said if she and husband Todd had had a sixth child, they had already picked a name for a boy joining siblings Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper and Trig.

"I always wanted a son named Zamboni," she said.

So folks, some candidates talk a good game, but Sarah Palin really delivers for this hockey fan.

Vote Sarah--vote for hockey.

[Fiona] ARGH !!!

2008-10-20T15:56:00.005-04:00

A fog has rolled in and I am having difficulty cutting through the haze to find the sun. How's that for waxing poetic? I am in a funk. I am battling the sadness demon. I feel useless in my job and I feel overwhelmed taking care of my dad. I am not sure which way to turn. I have always been multi-talented. I sing, draw, paint, write. In other words I can do lots of things well but not any one thing well enough to earn a living at it. It frustrates the bejeezus out of me.

As a little girl I wanted to be a ballerina. No, that didn't pan out, way too much work and not enough food. The same can be said about the art career I wanted and the writing. So I settled on not really setting the bar for anything. I was complaining to Shrek just this morning that I was pissed because life didn't turn out the way I planned. Funny thing is I never really made any plans so... didn't it turn out just the way I planned it? Odd but true. Life happens around you even if you don't participate in it.

I get frustrated because I want to work in a job that I care about. A job where I can make a difference and I am respected for my input. Is this really too much to ask for? I suffer from being more intelligent than my job. I suffer from(I have)too much brains(stop laughing) and not enough education in any one thing so I can make a career. Ok... maybe I am a dumb ass. Do you see the recurring theme here? Is it too late at age 44 to change lanes?

I have a lot of life left to live; well, I hope so anyway. How do I find meaningful employment that will pay the bills and help me build a nest egg? There is something to be said for the person who is fearless, not afraid to go after what they deserve. I wish I had that kind of confidence in my abilities.

[Shrek] I Know Who Won The Debates

2008-10-17T15:20:00.002-04:00

Now that all of the presidential debates are over, I'm finally ready to declare who won all the debates.

My guy.

Yeah, the way he just kept pounding what he believed in, and kept showing that the other guy--who is completely clueless I might add--simply has no idea what he's talking about, was great. I mean, just the way he kept showing how that other guy was just making stuff up about what my guy believes, and he kept showing all the misrepresentations of my guy's positions the other guy was making was ingenious.

Now I know that with the war going on, and with this huge financial crisis crippling our economy, my guy has do a few things that might be unpopular. But that other guy's ideas really go too far, and in some cases don't go far enough. My guy understands all the issues and will do what's best for America. That other guy just has no clue.

And have you seen who is supporting that other guy? Why the heck would anyone want to vote for someone that has support from them? I mean, they're just as clueless as the guy they're supporting.

I can't wait for this election to be over so my guy can begin all that change he's talking about, and that other guy will hopefully slip into obscurity.

[Fiona] Odd But True

2008-10-05T16:07:00.004-04:00

Odd but true...Webkinz are flippin' cool. I was never one as a child to play dollies and/or house. No way. I wanted to climb trees and build forts. My two sisters and I grew up in a neighborhood of boys. Suffice to say that the boys always had more fun, got dirtier and taught me to spit. How can a girl resist that kind of raw manliness?

Odd but true...I am afraid of dolls that have too much of a life like look to them. Clowns are also not high on my list and in the presence of a person dressed as a clown I get nervous. Shrek has to run interference so I don't break down and cry. So like I said not a big one for playing house when I was young. My best galpal has four wee ones at home. 2 boys, 2 girls and way 2 many Webkinz to keep track of.

Her kids got wind of them at school I am sure. On more than a few occassions when I am at their house visiting all "the babies" get brought out and paraded before me. Not really much interest on my part as Shrek and I have no children and no such plans for any. Having said that I fell in love with the whole Webkinz idea. I am now the proud "parent" to a chipmunk and a pink dragon. I couldn't be happier.

Odd but true...I can play "flash" games of solitaire, matching, cards. I earn kinzcash which can be used to buy groceries, clothes, furniture, doctor visits. A cool concept; teach responsibility and have fun. I am having a great time.

[Shrek] First Dances Are So Romantic

2008-10-05T10:23:00.001-04:00

Nothing like raising the bar a little...

[Shrek] Random Thoughts

2008-09-26T20:14:00.003-04:00

I've been very busy as of late and have neglected this blog a little...so as I have a few minutes I'll just toss out some random thoughts.

* If Sarah Palin believes her home state of Alaska's proximity to Russia equates to foreign policy experience, then I must be a very pius person as I can see a church from my front room window. The failing of that would be that I must also be an alcoholic because I can see a barroom and a liquor store too.

* Despite what many pundits seem to think, not voting for Obama doesn't make you a racist. I know lots of folks that aren't planning on voting for him, and for the vast majority "racist" isn't a word I would use to describe them.

* Any list of the top five American film makers needs to have Ken Burns on it.

* "Sisyphean" is a great word that no one uses. It's a shame, because it describes most of what is going on in the political world today. "Nescient" is another great word, and it's why no one uses sisyphean.

* Dianne Williamson finally wrote a column where she didn't attack anyone or try to be funny. (Link: Old soldier commands our respect). She should try that more often. Despite not agreeing with her very often I read every column she writes. In the end, that's probably all she cares about.

* When did employees stop being employees and became "associates"? Who are they supposed to be associated with? Better yet, when did I stop being a "customer" and became a "guest"?

* If you're not in favor of replacing police officers with flagmen at state construction sites, travel down Rt 12 in Auburn as they widen the road. Count the number of officers and compare it to the number actually directing traffic. I have all the respect in the world for the police, but they should at least pretend to be paying attention to traffic.

* What's the easiest way to screw up a traffic pattern? Put a police cruiser in plain site. Suddenly everyone forgets how to drive.

* Both Run-DMC and Chic have a chance to be elected to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame this year. Despite being eligible, Stevie Ray Vaughn was not a finalist. Nescients.

[Fiona] Paying It Forward

2008-09-06T00:46:00.005-04:00

Random Acts of Kindness, Paying It Forward, Doing the Right Thing...call it whatever you want. It is something that more people should partake of not because you might reap some reward from it but because it makes you and the other participants feel happy; like the world is a good place to be in. Sometimes being happy to part of something bigger than yourself is all the reward necessary.

My parents never had much but they always gave 100% of what they could. The fastest way to get a smile give one away first. I guess you could say that was my mother's philosophy. My parents never thought twice about what action they should take about matters. If something needed to be fixed or someone needed that 's all it took for their involvement. I like to think that some of their goodness survived in my genes.

I found a brand new seriously shiny fully working totally tricked out cellphone...and I returned it to its rightful owner. Not because I had to but because I wanted to. I know from past experience just how heart sick a person can make themselves when things go awry. I found it open in a driveway I was exiting. It was a super sunny day. The reflection of the sun off the case caught my eye. I have to admit at first glance I thought that someone had run over the unfortunate cell because it looked flat. After closer inspection, I realized it was the new Envy by LG. This was no throw away occurence. Someone had dropped this phone.

I drove home showed hubby and told him of my plan to look through the phone's contact list and try to find a HOME number. I told you this phone was up and running. I could have easily misused it for any one of a hundred misdeeds but I am not that kind of a person. I found a listing for HOME. I dialed it from my own landline so as not to use this persons minutes and left a brief yet detailed message for the person to contact me so I could return the phone.

Long story short...phone lost...phone found...phone returned to rightful owner...Fiona feeling like life has deeper meaning. Owner calls next day to say thank you so much...I just hope that someday she does something good for someone else just because she can not because she has to.

[Shrek] Insanity, Cheating, and Redemption

2008-08-27T14:18:00.003-04:00

Fiona and I, along with friends Rich and Josie, bowled in the couple's league this summer at Colonial here in Worcester. For the most part, even though we bowled like crap for most of the season we had a good time.

For the most part.

Unfortunately, the league included an absolutely batshit crazy woman. And when I say "batshit crazy", I mean legitimately "eleven eggs short of a dozen" type of crazy. Add to her insanity the social skills of a seven year old and a more annoying voice than Fran Drescher, and you have all the makings for a huge explosion.

And that explosion came two weeks ago.

Our team--in next to last place and bowling the last place team--was bowling in the lanes right in front of the desk. So when I wasn't bowling I spent most of the night leaning against the desk shooting the shit with Bobby. While I was bowling the first five boxes of the third string something happened at the desk, that had I known about I would not have returned there when I was done.

When your match is over you fill out a yellow score sheet and turn it in at the desk. It seems that the crazy woman made a change to that sheet after it was turned in. Was she cheating as some were saying? Was she fixing an error that she says her daughter made? I don't know, and even to this minute, I don't care. What I do care about is what happened next.

As I came back to the desk from bowling, she accused me of cheating. "You cheat all the time and everyone catches you" were her exact words. My only reply to her was "excuse me?". She repeated her allegation. Twice.

I know exactly what she was doing. Because I have had it out with this crazy woman before she was hoping I would verbally defend myself so she could turn herself into the victim, shining the spotlight on me instead of her. There is no way she expected me to do what I did.

I walked away, laughing.

I went to tell my teammates what was happening so that they would know what was going on. Of course the team we were bowling heard me talking with my team, and they also began laughing. From that point on every single time someone got a good break the other team would laughingly accuse them of cheating. Seeing as gossip travels faster than the speed of light, it took absolutely no time for the whole league to know what she did and what she was saying.

For the record, I never told anyone about her changing the scores, only that she accused me and my team of cheating.

Fast forward to last Tuesday, and she was still making her accusation to anyone that would listen--or maybe more correctly--anyone she could corner and whine to. She was told by several people to keep her mouth shut, but as she has the mental power of a small child she just couldn't keep trying to deflect that spotlight off of her.

The team we bowled that week, who had been bowling next to us the week before, jumped right about the "cheating bandwagon" and began not only to accuse us of cheating when we got a good break, but also accused themselves of it. The two teams to our left were also doing it, so we had a great time that night laughing at each other--which if you think about it is the whole idea of the summer league.

Now the best part--I suspected we were going to bowl her team in the last week of the league (yesterday), so I asked Paul to check the schedule to see if I was right. And I was. So I made sure to let a couple folks know she had to bowl us yesterday.

As you may suspect, she was less than pleased to find out she had to bowl against us.

So after a few e-mails going back and forth between the four of us I decided I was going to take the high road--a path I don't normally take by the way--and just ignore the woman. Rich, on the other hand, decided that he'd had enough of her over the last couple years. He placed a bottle of white out and a couple of erasers on the scoring table.

He was also wearing a t-shirt that he made that had this picture on the front...

...along with the words "Super Cheater". On the back he had "HGH? Steroids? Eraser?"

When she saw it, she went nuts. She threatened to have Rich thrown out--which of course she didn't do because there was no chance of it happening. When Paul came down to ask Rich if there was going to be an issue, he calmly said that as long as she kept her mouth shut there wouldn't be any problems.

But, of course, being batshit crazy she couldn't, and after another outburst stormed off.

Our team went on to pound her team into the ground (they get to take her average at 100%, which is probably better than she would have gotten anyway), with me throwing the high triple of the season and was one bad box away from a 400 series. During the night several people came over and apologized to me because I had to put up with her craziness the last couple of weeks, and hoped it wouldn't keep us away next season. It won't, trust me on that.

What I am most proud of is my team, not for standing up for me, but for not letting the drama destroy what was a pretty fun year. I'm also proud of them because we didn't let it get to us, and over the last three weeks went from fighting to stay out of last place to ending up in fourth place and over .500 on the year after bowling so badly over a third of the season.

[Fiona] One of Those Days

2008-08-11T19:44:00.002-04:00

Did you ever wake up and just know that it was going to be one of those days? Well this morning I just knew it was gonna be a day to remember. Most mornings I shrug it off and I must say that I did try to shake off that,"it is gonna be a shitty day feeling" but to no avail.

Today was not a stellar day. One of my dad's older brothers passed away. The water return on our toilet is leaking like an open wound. The bathroom sink is clogged. Oh yeah, I almost forgot I got stung by a bee about an hour ago. I take an allergy pill everyday but not today. I forgot.

Shrek and I never made it to work even though we went through all the motions to get us there. Like I said I just had a feeling this morning and about three quarters of the way to work...bam...car malfunction! Shrek and I called out of work from the side of the road and called our repair guy straight up! Well at least I can say that this part of our day turned out quite well as it was a small repair and not a piggy bank breaker,yippee!

I called my galpal earlier this evening as I needed a venting session followed by coffee. My gal pal and I try to walk her neighborhood at least once a week. It gets her away from her 4 wee ones and it gets me out of Shrek's way. I look foward to our walks as we chat about the stuff going on in our lives and we usually have a good laugh. We had just gotten back to her house when that stupid bee stung me! Somehow a bee landed on my left thumb and stung me at the knuckle.I was so angry. I actually yelled at the bee. "I can't believe you have the balls to attack me, you stupid bee! I've had a craptastic day! WTF!" I killed him. I am not sorry!

It is a damn wonderful thing that my galpal lives around the corner from a pharmacy! I placed a call to my MIL,nurse person, and asked her what I should do. I think the last time I was stung by a bee my stepdaughter was like ten years old. I have to honestly tell you I had no idea if I were allergic or not. A quick benadryl caplet and ice at sting location and I am just starting to feel better. The ice has returned my hand to a normal size. Thank you medication.

I felt this day was blog worthy and I am happy? to report that supper has not been an exception. I made Shrek chicken fingers and fries. I think it is only fair to tell you that as I prepared to put the fries into fry the bag split open from the bottom and I lost more than a few to the floor and trash bin! I am going to bed, bewitched,bothered and bewildered! I am through with you day!

[Shrek] Just being goofy...

2008-08-11T08:09:00.003-04:00

[Fiona] Tuesdays with Papa George

2008-08-04T17:41:00.006-04:00

I try never to brag about my mad bowling skills. In truth, I am just mad because I suck at this New England favorite way to spend an evening. Shrek and I bowl on a couples' league in the summer. He always says it is for fun, but you know that's a crock. It can get pretty cut throat.

To me the best part of Tuesday nights in the summer is stopping at Papa George's Pizza for a nosh before we go off bowling. Papa George's Pizza is located at 351 June Street in Worcester, Ma. It is owned by Stephanie and Panagiotis (aka Peter) Stratos.

Sometimes it is more than just about the food that you get at a favorite spot. First, let me say that the marinated chicken is the best I have ever had anywhere, any place. Trust me, I eat a lot of chicken so I would know. What I love about this place is the love that they put into their business. Stephanie and Peter are very picky about the ingredients that get used in the making of their masterpieces. Pizza, fish and chips, grinders, calzones, salads, chicken wings, homemade baklava , cookies, ice cream novelties. They have it all and do it all so well. Drop in sometime, place an order, get to know the folks. I know you will go back again and again. It is that good.

Going for food here tugs at my heart. It reminds me of going home to family. There is a mix of bickering, laughing, good times, great food, and people you love to be with. We are always welcomed with open arms and questions about our general well being. I ask you when was the last time you went out to eat and someone cared about how you have been?

Just recently Stephanie and Peter went to Greece for three weeks to be with their family.Waiting for them to return was like waiting for Christmas. Sheer torture. I am not great at waiting, especially when I know that something great is waiting for me to sink my teeth into. While they were out of country Shrek and I went to Elsa's Bushel and Peck...ok but not the same. Food without a proper dose of love is...feed.

[Shrek] Reunions, part deux

2008-08-03T12:32:00.003-04:00

As I tell just about everyone, I am terrible at recognizing people. I am forever asking Fiona "is that so-and-so?" or "how do we know that person?". I'm even worse with names. People think I call folks "buddy" or "pal" because I'm friendly, but it's really because I don't have a freakin' clue what the person's name is. So for me to remember someone from more than twenty years ago would certainly be an odd occurrence.

But for me to remember that person's husband...well, you can't even get odds on that from Vegas.

Several weeks ago Fiona and I were in White Hen Pantry after work getting a soda when the older gentleman walked in. The light bulb went off in my head--I knew that I should know who this person was, but as usual, I couldn't place the face. So, I took my next usual step, I asked Fiona who it was. She had no idea.

I just presumed I was wrong and didn't know the person, so while Fiona was gabbing with the girls behind the counter I went out to the car. As I was walking out to the car I passed another car, and thought I recognized the person in the passenger seat. Seeing as the driver's side window was open (and she was parked next to my car), I asked if she had been a teacher at South High.

She quickly said she had been, and we spoke for a few minutes. Not shockingly, at first she didn't remember me, but after mentioning a few of the people in the class she even remembered the table I sat at during vertebrae anatomy class I had her for.

I jokingly mentioned how bad I am with names and faces, and the oddity that I would recognize her husband--a person I'd met just twice, the last time in 1986. At this point he returned to their car and mentioned that we probably had last met at my senior prom (and it was).

Funny thing is, I don't remember much from my prom night.

I've just recently had another reunion--albeit an virtual one--with someone else I haven't seen in nearly twenty years. When Paul Howley was at That's Entertainment a few weeks ago, we were exchanging information about people each of us hadn't run into in awhile. One of those folks he talked about was a former employee of TE, David Lynch.

One of the things Paul mentioned many times was that David was writing in his blog the story of a friend called My Island, and that I should most certainly check it out. It was supposed to be a six part series, but it had already swollen to many more than that.

So the next morning (Sunday), while Fiona was at Weight Watchers, I started reading the story. It is mindbogglingly good, and I spent much of that morning reading all the parts available. It is an incredibly soul searching collection, free of the gloss that often accompanies stories where the writer plays a major role.

I don't want to give too much away, and I urge everyone to read it.

David is currently on chapter 23, but THIS LINK will take you to chapter one. For other chapters, simply click on the purple arrow next to "June" in his blog for a list of the other chapters. You should also read the comments (and leave one if you'd like)...there's some lighthearted stuff that offsets some of the darkness.

I left a comment for David after one of his posts, and after he's finished with the story I'll run him off an e-mail to really catch up. If there's one lesson I've learned in life, it's never interrupt a writer when he's busy.

[Shrek] Reunions, part un

2008-07-31T18:53:00.005-04:00

Now to the topic I wanted to write about last time...and it's turned out to be way too long for one post, so I'm splitting it into two parts.

A couple weeks ago John and Kile came up from Virginia for the weekend. There was a mention at TotalCon in February that we should all get together in the summer for a day of playing D&D or whatever else we decided on. So right after the convention e-mails went around trying to pick a good weekend for the possible get together to take place. We settled on the weekend of July 18-20.

So Kile and John drove up from Virginia on that Friday, and after checking into their hotel gave us a call to begin Friday's festivities. Our predetermined plan was pretty straightforward; we'd pick them up at their hotel, head on over to Scott & Jadira's house, and then off to dinner at Joey's Bar and Grill on Mill Street. (Joey's is currently working on a web site, so here's a link to Fiona's mention of them in her Large Marge blog: Where everybody knows our name.)

After enjoying some still warm focaccia with a house blend olive oil with herbs and Parmesan cheese to dip into, and pre-dinner cocktails (Fiona got her standard--a coffee. She loves their coffee so much we've gone out of our way some late afternoons to sit at the bar so she could enjoy a cup or four), our dinners were served.

John and I got the Chicken Pepperoni, Scott got the Caesar salad, and after a bowl of Clam Chowder (in my opinion, the best you can get in the city) Kile got a shrimp dish that was one of the nightly specials. Jadira ordered the "All American" burger, and as usual Trish went "off the menu" with her modified Joey's Salad and "Weight Watcher friendly" baked haddock with lightly sauteed summer squash and zucchini. Fiona and I didn't get dessert, but everyone else did. Based on what was said every dish tasted just as great as it looked.

As it has been every time we've gone there, everything was perfect at Joey's. John and Kile are both looking forward to a return trip on their next visit. As an aside, if you're looking for a quiet place for a drink (including the previously mentioned coffee or any other non-alcohol fare) and a snack--go to Joey's, sit at the bar, and order the onion rings or sweet potato fries. Heck, get them both...and add those things to the list of "best you can get in the city".

After dinner we walked down a couple of doors to the candlepin bowling alley. Being from the area, John was very familiar with candlepin. Kile, being from Kentucky, had no idea what it was about. We all had a good time bowling and hanging out, and as all of our luck is, finished and left the building in the middle of a intense downpour.

Saturday Fiona and Jadira went to Salisbury beach (look down one post for how well that turned out), while the rest of us were joined by Pinhead (yes, that is Mike's chosen, preferred, and well honored nickname) and Wes Carpenter for a day of D&D, that (as expected) turned into mostly hanging out and joking around with each other.

Throw in a BBQ lunch and chicken dinner and we had ourselves a pretty nice day.

Sunday was supposed to be the day the John and Kile spent with John's parents, and so it was...until early evening when Kile called asking if Fiona and I had eaten dinner yet, apparently looking for some "fun" people to hang out with after all day with family. We hadn't eaten, and quickly took them up on their offer to go out to dinner for some "bonus" get together time.

Our attempt to go to Pub 99 failed miserably as the dinnertime line was almost out the door. So we decided to go to Steve's Pizzeria instead, which as it turns out was more what John was looking for versus a "real" sit down meal. (Steve's doesn't have a website, so we'll head back to Fiona's Large Marge blog for more info: Steve's Pizzeria

For those that have never been to Steve's, they have the largest grinders I'm aware of anywhere around here. They are so large that Kile ordered a small meatball grinder and took half home. John got the steak and cheese (just the way I order it too--just steak, cheese, and mayo), I got the chicken salad, and Fiona got a salad topped with grilled chicken. We added fries and onion rings to the mix, and when the folks at Steve's heard we'd brought friends from Virginia in, the threw in some nicely toasted and buttered garlic bread.

We finished the evening hanging out at their hotel for a while enjoying the conversation. When Fiona and I arrived back home, there was a phone message from Ray looking to confirm potential plans for when he and Kathy are up in September. Unfortunately due to computer issues I had to cut that conversation short, but I suspect we'll be enjoying some fine dinning somewhere while they're up.

And, at least for now, I don't need Ray to repair my computer.

Part deux will follow soon, and includes some reunions with folks I haven't seen in twenty years or more...

[Fiona] What?

2008-07-27T18:04:00.005-04:00

Ok,Ok...I know I need to post otherwise people think I have given up on sharing my little insights on the crazy things that surround my life. Fear not I am still out and about viewing the insanity of the living. I guess I just haven't been feeling like there was anything I really needed to comment about. Shrek has been at me about my lack of posting and so here I sit trying to wax poetic. Looks like I failed my pilot check. I am in a summer slump I guess.

Last weekend my galpal(two of her kiddos), myself,and a friend of ours went to Salisbury Beach. Shame on you town of Salisbury! Gross! How do you get people to come in for a visit? Kidnap them? Nothing like cruisin' by life on glory days gone by.

Shrek was surprised that we were adventuring out to Salisbury Beach. He tried to warn me. Amusement park...gone. Cute shops...gone. Beach side pizza...has seen better days. I need to say that the state park and camp grounds were nice enough. My galpal had secured a day pass from our local library and so when we got to the state grounds we got to park for free. I was very happy with our day at the state park. I was just disappointed with what has become of Salisbury public beach.

When was the last time that the governing town officials ventured out to... the police department at the public beach? I mean come on. Am I the only one to be surprised that the public men and women's bathrooms are interconnected? I was afraid to go in and use the bathroom NOT just because it was filthy but because there should never be MEN in the LADIES bathroom!!

I was not surprised to see some of the trash come off the beach. It went walking by under the influence of whatever. What moves a person to get stupid and screwed up on a hot day?

Maybe I am naive but whatever happened to family day at the beach? Where is your pride? I would lie about where I lived if I were unfortunate enough to have to live in town. You seem happy enough to take my tourist dollar... please put some of it back into your community. You could have a beautiful boardwalk and shops if you just would put in the effort. How about better public bathrooms? Find reasons to make people want to visit.

[Shrek] Reformat

2008-07-26T15:21:00.002-04:00

This is not what I intended my next post to be about.

This was supposed to be about last weekend's get together with friends John and Kile from Virginia, segueing into a Labor Day get together with Ray Conrad, and then finally mentioning...well, I'll leave that for when I make the post, probably Wednesday.

But what happened instead was I needed to reformat my computer after being hit with a Trojan Horse.

I'm not 100% sure how my computer became infected by it because my machine is buttoned up pretty tightly, but after about five days of fighting it I became 100% sure I was losing the battle.

The final straw was when, ironically enough, I was talking to Ray after having dinner with John and Kile last Sunday night. He had left a message on our machine confirming our potential Labor Day reunion (well, technically the weekend after), and as I returned his call my firewall was turned off by the infection while I watched. I decided to quickly remove my PC from my network.

At that point I went from trying to snipe at it file by file to deciding to use the nuclear weapon of wiping the hard drive totally clean. But even in making that decision, I still faced a small hurdle. My CD drive was broken, and had been for some time. I'd tell you how long it had been broken, but I don't recall. It was long enough for Ray to have offered to fix it; not the last time he was up in Worcester, but the time previous.

Yeah, that long.

Monday morning the first thing I did was pull the old one out to make sure I was competent enough to put a new one in. After seeing how easy the removal was I was already shaking my head about not doing this earlier.

So at 8:30am, Fiona and I went off to the Circuit City at The Shoppes at Blackstone Valley in Millbury, Mass. We arrived just before 9am to find out--SURPRISE!!!--Circuit City opens at 10am. We thought it was odd that it opened so late, but as we hadn't had breakfast we decided to head over to the McDonald's on Rt20 at the Millbury/Worcester line to grab a cup of coffee and a breakfast sandwich.

As we drive up to the intersection just before the McDonald's we find out--SURPRISE!!!--that particular McDonald's is under renovations and closed. We both just looked at each other and started to laugh. So much for a quick, painless trip.

We ended up going to the Golden Arches across from the newly rebuilt Auburn High School, where we know some folks from our weekly stop there Thursday evenings after bowling. Of course, despite many of them usually working the occasional morning shift none of them are working that particular morning.

After we ate and returned to Circuit City, where we were helped by two really great employees that answered all my silly questions, including one that said the replacement was going to be a very easy thing. He was right, it was very easy. So easy I am still kicking myself for not fixing it earlier. That fact I have since used it very little not withstanding.

As I had already saved all the files/pictures I wanted, all I needed to do was begin the reformat process. Having done this several times on older computers, and on other people's machines when they had issues, I knew that it is seldom a pain-free process. But with a little patience it usually all works out in the end.

And so it did, but as I'm not really that patient a person there was some cursing involved before it all worked out fine. Of course, even when things do work out fine there is usually some cursing, so I guess nothing truly out of the ordinary happened.

Now come the painfully slow process of downloading all the Window's updates and various programs I had installed before nuking the hard drive. I didn't realize how many I had until earlier this week when I figured I was less than a third done recapturing all that info. Five days later, I'm still only two thirds done.

And--SURPRISE!!!--there has been more cursing involved.

[Shrek & Fiona] A "not so brief" update

2008-07-12T19:19:00.002-04:00

We've both been meaning to make an update post but we just haven't gotten around to it until now.

Firstly, jury duty...the guy was--SURPRISE!!!--found guilty of all charges. I forgot to copy the guy's name down, but it doesn't matter that much. He'll be a guest of the Commonwealth for the next 20 years or so. A brief mention in the Telegram mentioned that he'll be facing additional charges in Connecticut soon, with any potential sentence to be served there after his time here is served.

We were both on vacation the week of July 4th, and spent the first couple days running some of the errands that had piled up over the last few weeks. We dubbed Tuesday "Hell Day" as Fiona had to go to the RMV for a new license picture, I had to go to my doctor's office for some blood work, and we capped the afternoon off with a trip to the dentist. All three errands were completed almost painlessly.

Thursday was Fiona's birthday, so we celebrated by going to breakfast at Eller's on the Hill, a breakfast place in Cherry Valley on Stafford St. Our usual breakfast place, Bickford's, closed a while back and one of our favorite waitresses from there went to work at Eller's, so we "followed" here there.

We didn't do much the rest of Thursday, and late in the afternoon went to dinner at Chuck's Steak House on route 20 in Auburn. It has one of the best salad bars around (all you can eat, too), and Fiona filled up on soup and salad and could barely touch her chicken-kabobs. I had no issue finishing my prime rib despite a couple salad bar trips.

We had planned to go to the Tornadoes game Thursday night, but with the heat and humidity we decided to pass on the game. Good thing too, because as were were driving on I-290 past Fitton Field it started to rain. It rained so hard that despite having the tarp over the infield they had to call off the game because the field was unplayable.

We spent the Fourth at a cookout at my uncle's house, catching up with family I hadn't seen in awhile. As is the custom at Hunt family gatherings, there was more food than an entire army could eat. Fiona ate lots of veggies. I ate lots of meat, potato salad, and desserts. Together we added up to a couple of well balanced meals.

There wasn't much going on last week, at least nothing worth mentioning. We did spend a portion of Saturday at That's Entertainment catching up with Paul Howley. Paul only gets to the store a couple times a year so we make sure to have nothing planned for the day he's at the Worcester store.

It's funny, despite not seeing each other much it's just like the old days when we saw each other just about every day. A few other of the "old timers" dropped by and it was just like old times.

Conversations eventually turned to blogs, and Paul mentioned Cousin Steve had one (for the record, "Cousin Steve" is Paul's cousin). Steve owns a store in Waltham called The Outer Limits--which I would have linked to had his store had a website--and writes a blog called "I Ain't No Oprah", which Paul said to check out. I did, and now it's linked in the right column.

Next weekend will be another reunion when John and Kile come up from Virginia for the weekend. We'll be joined by some other TotalCon friends for what hopefully will be a fun day.

[Shrek] Jury Duty

2008-06-29T16:15:00.003-04:00

Last Monday I had the chance to take my turn at jury duty. I suppose I shouldn't complain as I hadn't been chosen for jury duty in over 12 years, but it really is one of those things I want no part of.

Now I understand that it is my civic duty to perform the task of jury duty, and I understand how important it is for the judicial system as a whole that folks serve on juries. The Massachusetts Constitution, largely written by John Adams, uses the word "sacred" just once. That's the word Adams used to described a person's right to a trial by jury of his peers. The fact that such a great man used that word to describe the process is proof enough that I should be much more enthusiastic about participating in it.

But alas, I just can't get that fired up about it.

My day began with Fiona dropping me off in front of the new courthouse here in Worcester, and with the memories of how terrible it was to navigate the old courthouse I was already grumbling my displeasure at the thought of trudging through a building I didn't want to be in looking for a room I didn't want to go to.

Luckily, they hired moderately smart architects. The Jury Room, which is on the third floor, is clearly visible from the entrance. After passing through security--which consisted of a young male security officer flirting with a young female security officer as I passed through a metal detector--it was just a minute or so of walking up staircases to get to the Jury Room. I saw signs for elevators, but as I didn't need them I didn't look to see where they actually were.

I intentionally got there early so I wouldn't have to wait in line at the Jury Room, and when I got to the room there was a few people already seated but no one waiting to check in. As I walked up to the desk the Court Officer greeted me with an unexpected smile and took my paperwork. He game me my juror number, #80 (it's on a piece of paper you're asked not to lose), told me to take a seat, and that there would be a presentation at 8:30am.

So I took a seat against the windows and started reading my book, Misconceptions by O.J. Simpson lawyer Robert Shapiro and Walt Becker. It's a suspense/thriller courtroom drama around the topic of abortion. It was pretty good...I recommend it if you find a remaindered copy.

So at 8:30am they play this presentation on the four mounted HD televisions about what you can expect during the day. The presentation is on video tape, which when you figure the HDTVs, makes little sense. Something that makes even less sense? The street in front of the courthouse was paved over before the cable TV wires could be run into the building.

I was tempted to discern what John Adams would have thought about that, but chose instead to continue reading.

In case you hadn't heard, there is no cafeteria in the new courthouse. So around 9am a coffee cart was pushed in for the jurors to purchase coffee, doughnuts, juice, etc., for a "nominal fee". Apparently my definition of "nominal fee" and theirs is a little different, and I chose to not plunk down higher than Dunkin' Donuts prices for smaller servings than you'd get at my favorite coffee place.

After reading for a while I got up and stretched a little, and after looking around suddenly something hit me. Nearly every person in the room was white. There we no African-Americans and no Asians, and there was only one person I could easily identify as being Hispanic. Not exactly reflective of the populace of any urban area I'm aware of.

Around 10am they called for Jurors #1 to #56 to go into Superior Court for jury selection. Within a half hour people not chosen for that jury slowly filtered back to the Jury Room. Somewhere around 11:30am they took Jurors #57 to #79 (anyone remember my number?) into District Court, and like before, folks that weren't chosen came back to the Jury Room. Knowing that lunch is at 1pm, and with the time approaching 12:30, I figured we were getting to the point of being home free.

Wrong. At exactly 12:30 every remaining juror was sent to Superior Court for jury selection. I figured it had to be something big because there was around 75 of us in the room. And big it was. Let's just say the victim was a child and the Defendant was a 50ish year old man.

Yeah, exactly what you're thinking...and now I know I really want no part of this. And then the judge says the trial could last until Friday...I really, really want no part of this.

At 1:25pm when we broke for lunch they had finally gotten 14 jurors seated--#76 was the last one seated. Because it was raining very heavily I called Fiona and asked her to bring me lunch because there was no chance I could get anywhere without getting soaked. When she arrived we drove around the block a couple of times as I ate.

As we talked, Fiona reminded me that we had a doctor's appointment Thursday afternoon. I'm glad she did that, because I had forgotten.

When we returned to the Jury Room at 2:25 and sat there for awhile, we were again brought into the same courtroom. I was wondering why they were doing that when it suddenly hit me--both sides could still challenge jurors! I wasn't home free like I thought, and was in fact going to be up to be seated in the next few minutes.

When my number was called I went to sidebar like everyone before me and was asked a couple questions by the judge. When I mentioned I had a doctor's appointment for Thursday, he asked me if I could produce an appointment card. I told him all I had to do was call Fiona and I could have one in his hand within 20 minutes.

I was excused! WOOHOO!!!!

When I got back to the Jury Room the Court Officer scanned my number and told me I was free to go. He didn't need to tell me twice, and I was quickly out of there.

So I'm free for at least the next three years. Far too soon if you ask me.

I've also checked the Telegram every day since to see if the trial was mentioned, but so far it hasn't been. Notice I didn't say "to see of he was found guilty", because I saw him sitting there behind his lawyers. I have no doubt he was guilty.

So much for his "sacred" right to trial by jury, eh?

[Shrek] Thanks for the mammaries

2008-06-22T08:55:00.002-04:00

In the past couple weeks I've had a couple topics I wanted to share with folks but so far hadn't gotten around to it yet. But after yesterday one of those subjects popped up again, so I guess it was a signal that I should spend a few minutes and talk about them.

I like breasts.

I have always been a breast man, and make no apologies about it. I never judge a woman by the size or shape of her breasts, and I'm not one of those testosterone driven morons that stares at a woman's chest while having a conversation with them.

Fiona knows I'm a breast man and is very amused by it, even occasionally laughingly pointing out a pair that are worthy of such notice. Usually that "notice" is when the woman is wearing something inappropriate for the size of her bosoms. Or, in some cases, not wearing.

Fiona and I were in Target recently during the early June heat wave, shopping for some shirts for her as she had very few summer-weight tops. Well, perhaps more correctly, she was shopping and I was enjoying the store's air conditioning.

As I'm standing there feigning interest in the stuff Fiona is looking at, two college age girls come strolling by with their puppies running free. Observant as I am I noticed immediately, and determined they were the perfect size to be allowed to roam leash-less. They also decided to look at the same displays Fiona was looking at and were in my through line, so my interest became slightly less "feigned".

(For those that don't know what a "through line" is, it's the imaginary path that a golf ball would travel on should the putted ball go past the hole; or the path of continued trajectory of a bullet fired that missed its target. This will come as no shock that guys use it all the time to obscure what they're really looking at.)

Unfortunately, also in my through line was two older women of a slightly larger size that also decided on the hot day to let their doggies run free. They also both chose to wear tops that were not really conducive to folks that are not in decent physical shape. It was not a pretty sight.

So, as a person that has spent a lot of time noticing boobs of all types and sizes, allow me to make an observation for you that might help when choosing what to wear when going out:

If you're college aged and in shape, let the puppies run free. If your child is college aged or you're not in shape so much, tie those doggies down. Please.

Now about yesterday.

Fiona and I went to a cookout/graduation party for the daughter of a woman Fiona went to school with. As one would expect at such a gathering, there were several recent high-school graduates--all girls--along with a couple "drinking age" girls that are friends of the graduate's older sister.

Not knowing anyone at the party and not really seeing any group of folks I'd fit in with, I basically stayed close to Fiona, who herself only really knew a couple of folks at the party. We stayed in the kitchen area, mostly because that's where Fiona's friend spent most of her time preparing stuff during the party. The gaggle of girls was also there, but for except when they went into a mass-giggle they weren't really doing anything to attract attention to themselves.

After a while a friend of the host's shows up with his room mate. He's an older (50ish) gay man that we had met last year at a housewarming party, and is a very funny person that makes no bones about his sexual orientation. He is a touch "stereotypical" (although, aren't we all in one way or another?), and plays that up using humor. He's one of the few people I've met that I've actually thought would make a great stand up comic.

But at one point it got a little creepy.

Despite being a connoisseur of breasts, I think it would be a little odd for me to be starting a discussing of a girl's breasts when she's younger than my daughter. It just seems like one of those topics an older male--gay or not--probably shouldn't be bringing up addressing a group of young girls. Never mind doing it twice. I know I'm a pig when it comes to breasts, but I at least exercise a little discretion about it.

Although we did find out that one of the drinking aged girls--who was already "well served" at this point--had bosoms sized 36G (which I had guessed correctly in my mind) and has uneven nipples (even The Amazing Kreskin would have been lucky to guess that). She did have the common sense to tie those doggies up, although that may have been out of necessity as she may have fallen over forward had she not.

[Fiona] Father's Day

2008-06-15T20:24:00.004-04:00

For anyone who has ever had to take care of a relative my deepest respect goes out to you. June 11th was the first anniversary of my mother's passing. It still sounds strange to me and some days I feel like the phone is going to ring and she will be at the other end crabby or laughing or in whatever mood she needs to share with me. It has been an odd year for myself and my dad. I have an older sister who lives in NY but her visits here are limited as she has her own issues to deal with and illness.

Dad and I do the best we can with what we have to work with. Sometimes he thinks it is Saturday all week long. At times he makes me chuckle with his antics and sometimes I cry. The best memories of my dad live in my head...young,strong,vital. He is not so strong anymore and not so young. He is more likely to remember fifteen years ago then this morning but he is my dad and I love him more than I am sure I can ever convey to him. I try to live for today and not think about a time that will someday come when I will have to be in this world without him.

It frustrates me that I can't make things "all better". Today is Father's Day. Tell the people in your life while they can hear it that you love them. I tell my dad every time he calls me, every time I see him, every time I need to. Dad I love you.

[Shrek] On to baseball...

2008-06-08T13:56:00.003-04:00

With the New England Surge playing the last game of their regular season and the team opting to play its opening playoff game on the road, it appears that the Surge won't be playing another game this season in Worcester. Or if the rumors are true, maybe ever.

So now it's officially baseball season in Wormtown, and Fiona and I will be taking in our first game Saturday when the Sharks Boosters invade Fitton Field. We're doing the "all you can eat" cookout before the game. While Fiona won't be taking full advantage of the chow line, you can bet I'll be having enough for the both of us. When you consider what food and drink costs at a ball game, the $25 cost of the meal/tickets is a steal.

I used to be a huge baseball fan, but in the last few years I have become a little bored with the attitude major leaguers have. The fact that free agency has killed major league baseball to the point where it's the same teams every season adds to my boredom. Sure it's cool when the Red Sox win, but all things being equal I'd like to see how well they or the Yankees could do if there were a salary cap.

Actually, seeing how poorly the Bronx Bombers are doing this season with the highest payroll one has to think they can't do any worse with a lower one.

That's one of the reasons I like the Tornadoes so much. It's a bunch of guys playing hard for the love of the game. Can't ask for more for your money.

If you're interested in talking about the Tornadoes, you can go to tornadoes.mordel.net.

[Shrek & Fiona] Our date...

2008-06-01T19:28:00.006-04:00

Fiona and I went on date Thursday afternoon, and we'd thought it would be fun to blog about it. As determined by a coin flip, Fiona fires first.

[Fiona: Afternoon Delight]
On Thursday of this past week Shrek and I ditched work in the early afternoon to escape into the cool dark of our local movie theatre and catch a flicker. Shrek and I have been together for a long time. We try to keep our relationship young and alive by doing things together. Sometimes it is just playing video games together, sometimes it might be going out to eat, or well you know married things that involve lingerie.

Shrek knows that I am a huge Harrison Ford fan so I have been dying to see the new Indiana Jones movie. I have to inject one thing here. Before our adventure could begin in earnest I first had to drop my laptop off at the local witch doctors to have its little ass kicked back into the world of the living. So after my laptop was safe off to the doctor's, Shrek and I were off to find a quick nosh and then to the movie house. We decided on our local 99 Restaurant. I will not bore you with the facts of our meal; suffice it to say it was hot and tasty and not too expensive.

Ahh, now to the movie. First in the fair city of Worcester a matinee costs $7.50. OUCH! Shrek and I paid the ransom to get in but skipped the popcorn and drinks seeing that our rent was due in a few days and, well, what can I say about the price of gas that you fair readers don't already know? We took seats in the back row...make out alley.

Remember when previews were fun to watch? I wish someone would tell me when they became commercials. It is a pain in the ass to have to wait for this schlock to scroll by. Yippee finally the opening scenes. The familiar music begins. I went into this movie with no expectations, except for the one I keep in my heart for my sweetie Harrison. I must say he has aged well.

The movie was fun to watch. It had everything about an Indiana Jones movie that I love and a bit more. It wasn't perfect and the story line had a few slow to should have been cut scenes but the refrigerator scene and the car/boat chase scene were well worth the price of admission.

[Shrek: We named the dog "Indiana"]
Fiona and I did something Thursday we don’t do very often--we went to a movie somewhere other than the West Boylston Cinemas. We went to Showcase North, and the movie we saw was Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

We’re spoiled by our favorite movie house because we’re used to going to a movie, getting a couple fifty-five gallon drums of Diet Coke, and ordering a dumpster full of hot freshly popped popcorn for under $20. Spending $7.50 each just to get into a movie--and a matinee at that--is completely foreign to us.

I am a huge fan of the Indian Jones movies, and when it was announced years ago that there would be a fourth installment in the series with all the major principals involved I knew there would be no chance I would miss it.

One would think that a sixty-five year old Harrison Ford would have issues pulling off the swashbuckling Indian Jones again, but Ford jumped back into the role seamlessly. The return of Karen Allen as Marion Ravenwood from Raiders of the Lost Arc and the additions of Shia LaBeouf as “Mutt” Williams and the legendary John Hurt as Harold Oxley round out the cast of good guys.

Cate Blanchett also stars as Irina Spalko, a Russian agent looking for more crystal skulls. Ray Winstone rounds out the major players as George “Mac” McHale, and you’ll need a score card to keep up with whose side he’s on at any given moment. And as with the first three installments, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was directed by Steve Spielberg and the executive producer is George Lucas.

With all those cards in play it’s hard to think they could have made a film that’s so...average.

With the film set twenty years after The Last Crusade, Spielberg and Lucas have abandoned the 1930’s serial style the first three films used and embraced the B-movie style that was prevalent in the era The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is set in. It may have worked for a different character, but it didn’t work for Indiana Jones.

The previous Indiana Jones movies all follow the same basic formula--chases, followed by more chases, followed by even more chases. The action between those chases was really only a buildup to the next chase scene until reaching the end of the movie, which was an escape of the main characters from whatever evil had developed throughout the movie. The problem with Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull there aren't enough chase scenes, and the escape scene at the end really left a lot to be desired. Also noticeably absent from the film is a staple of the franchise, the comedic banter. The earlier films had many “laugh out loud” lines, which is something The Kingdom of the Crystal is sorely lacking.

Like the other films, the story was pretty straight forward. The problem was it wasn’t very compelling. Never once did I really care about those crystal skulls, and the lack of any explanation as to why they had mystical powers--even after finding out what the skulls really were-- made them even less interesting. Now add the fact the humor the Indiana Jones scripts are known for was for the most part missing and what you have a film that missed its mark.

Had this been a movie that had nothing to do with the Indiana Jones franchise it might rank a little higher, but as with any sequel Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull needs to be compared to the movies that came before it in the series, and it falls short in comparison.

[Fiona] NCIS

2008-05-26T16:26:00.006-04:00

I love this show. Today Shrek and I have been watching a marathon of the series. I wish I could be Abby. Way back in the day before Goth was a culture I wore black. I wore it more because I felt like it personified who I thought I was. Dark and guarded. I was very angry growing up. I didn't have a lot of friends on purpose and I wished away more days on being grown up than living my life or making life plans.

The character Abby is someone I wish I could have been ...cute, intelligent, well dressed (in the Goth sense of the word) and the holder of one of the coolest jobs I have ever seen portrayed on TV. Then again when I was a kid I wanted to be Ginger from Gilligan's Island.

I am happy to say that now I just want to be me.I am cute, intelligent ,dressed well and ok so my job leaves a lot to be desired but it pays the bill. Now that I have lost weight I am trying to find out what I really like and want. Last week I went out to our local Target and I bought myself two skorts. Black skirts;one over pink shorts and the other over tiger stripes. Shrek liked them alot...bonus for me if you get my drift*** ;^)

[Fiona] It's Called Laundry, People

2008-05-19T18:28:00.000-04:00

Shrek hates going to the laundromat. I used to laugh at him. Shrek always used to say that he hated stupid people until one day he realized that he just hates everyone pretty much the same, stupid or not. Sort of cynical and yet so true and freeing. Sometimes Shrek goes with me to the laundry. It is usually when I am sick or I am feeling really overwhelmed by the sheer volume of clothes that need to get washed.

Shrek and I live on the third floor with no laundry hookups but our rent is "wicked cheap" so I go out to do the wash. The problem that I have is other people. Why do people feel the need to comment about my mound of clothes? I swear if I have to explain to one more nosy person about my laundry I am going to scream. Yes, creepy people I have a lot of laundry what of it? I am getting too old to lug baskets up and down three flights so I save up my dirty clothes...deal with it.

I do my clothes once every two weeks, unless I have a need of some favorite thingy that got dirty or I just feel ambitious. Make no mistake this is the only time I will explain to the general uncaring public about my laundry habits. Thank you very much.

[Shrek] Finished!!!

2008-05-19T17:44:00.002-04:00

I have finally finished the (as of now) complete run of Sue Grafton books. It took longer than I expected, mostly because life kept getting in the way of play time.

I hate when that happens.

For folks wondering if they were any good, well, most of them were. The early ones sucked. But as I had the whole run I figured I'd give them a try for at least three or four books before deciding to stop. Luckily C Is for Corpse was one of the good ones, and from that point on they were pretty good.

Now I'm on to The Sundering by Jacqueline Carey, which is a combination of her two novels Banewreaker and Godslayer. Carey writes long books, and The Sundering was so long her publisher broke them into two books. I waited for the Science Fiction Book Club edition, which put them back together.

I don't know what Fiona is reading...perhaps she'll mention it next time.

[Shrek] Just catching up...

2008-05-18T11:50:00.005-04:00

The fall bowling season officially ended Friday night with the banquet for my Monday night bowling league. For the first time ever my team won the league championship. We're named "The Wigglers" because our first bowler, Mikey, likes to wildly wiggle his hips like a hula dancer on speed when the pins are rocking back and forth. It's very funny when he does this, and brings a lot of laughs.

In the last week of play we needed to beat the other team 5-3 to win the championship, and after splitting the first two strings we needed just to tie or win the final string to capture the crown. It came down to the last two boxes, where I converted the 5-7-8-9 for a spare and then filled it with an eight. I was bowling against the best bowler in the league, who had one final chance to mark for the win. But when he left the soft 5 in his last box the title was ours.

In my Thursday night league, where my team is called "Valhalla" after a bar that was closed a very long time ago, we fared about as well as we usually do, which was in the middle of the pack. We finished 7th of 12 teams, but had lots of chances to finish in the top five. We just sucked at the wrong times.

The summer league has started, and like last year when we won it's myself, Fiona, Josie (whom I have dubbed TFG for "The Fashion Goddess" on the score sheet), and Rich (Speed). The goal in the summer league is to have fun, and so far, so good.

Fiona and I have been going to the New England Surge games on the weekends. They're the local indoor football team, and they aren't a bad way to kill the weeks between the Sharks and Tornadoes. They're the second best team in their conference, so every home game is usually a win--except against Rochester, which is the best team in the entire league.

We've recently found out that Rochester violates the spirit of the salary cap by having their players work for one of the sponsors of the team, so they're able to pay their players more than is generally allowed. That sponsor has just recently become a part owner after a very public fight, so it will be interesting to see what the CIFL does about the situation.

One of the Worcester Tornadoes free exhibition games is this afternoon, but Fiona and I won't be going as she's currently fighting a cold. On top of that the pollen count super high so she's fighting allergies too. Looks like a good day to watch some stuff we have saved on our DVR.

[Fiona] I Want To Break Free

2008-05-02T20:44:00.006-04:00

I am sitting in my livingroom listening to Queen and trying to get over being pissed. I love this song by Queen...I Want To Break Free. It is totally unbelievable to me how crappy a day can go. This morning I went to three different Dunkin' Donuts and left each one sans coffee. Never mind that I got up a little early because Shrek had yet another day off from work but it was also raining and I thought that I would give myself a treat and get a steamin cup of Joe. As things often go I should not have been surprised that my morning didn't go well.

Sometimes I feel like I never get to win, that the Gods whoever they are get a preverse joy out of pissin on my shoes.Just once I wish my life ran like a Disney cartoon. Those always end on an up note. I Want To Break Free.

[Fiona] Overwhelmed

2008-04-27T20:06:00.006-04:00

Occassionally I make posts that tie into my other blog. This will be one of those times. I had melt down yesterday. It was over a combination of things. I don't know how Shrek keeps his sense of "come what may" married to me. I get antsy when I feel overwhelmed. Things at work, things at home, my dad, chores, my ongoing weight loss and its separate but equal overwhelming qualities all conspired to push me over the top.

I pace and mutter to myself when I feel stressed. Every single thing I had left to wear in my dresser felt uncomfortable and baggy. Work has been slow and we have had several days of layoff. Gas prices are out of control. Grocery prices are going way up and to be honest I don't know how people with kids do it. I felt like I didn't have the right to go out and buy anything to wear that fit. The more I turned that notion over in my mind the angrier and more frustrated I became. I felt trapped. Irrational I know but hey I never said I made perfect sense, silly.

Shrek asked me what was going on and in true Fiona fashion I danced around the real issue. Shrek is very wise after a few minutes he got up out of his chair and put his strong arms around me and calmed my fears. I went out to our local Target and I am now the proud owner of two pairs of brand new "cheap jeans". All of the clothes that no longer fit me have been bagged up and Shrek and I will be bringing them to a Salvation Army nearby. Sometime in the near future I hope to be at my weight loss goal and spend some time in maintenance land if for no other reason than to just breathe.

[Shrek] I'm Hopelessly Addicted

2008-04-15T18:58:00.005-04:00

They say the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. And not until you have done that can you truly take that first step to recovery. Of course, that presumes the addiction is bad for you and that you need to recover from it.

I am hopelessly addicted to books. Be it mysteries, action/adventure, science fiction, or biographies, it does not matter. I like to read. In fact, I've been known to be reading two or three different books at once. I've even joined an online site where I can download books right to my computer. I simply can't get enough of them.

There, I said it...and boy do I feel better.

All sarcasm aside, the one thing I don't understand is people who DON'T read. I'm not talking about newspapers and magazines, I'm talking about people that haven't picked up a book in years. That makes no sense to me. The world is full of great stories being told that millions of people are totally unaware of because they're too busy watching crap on TV or playing video games to exercise their mind.

A famous question say "Why can't Johnny read?". The answer is pretty clear to me; because Johnny's parents probably never read anything but a newspaper in front of Johnny so the mere concept of books is completely foreign to him.

So do yourself and your children a big favor and go out and get a book or two to read.

Oh, and romance novels don't count.

[Shrek] Excuse Me, But You're In Everyone's Way

2008-03-29T10:10:00.004-04:00

Fiona and I went shopping yesterday, making sure to run our errands early before most people's working days have ended and while school is still in session. We prefer to do this because the odds of running into an absolutely clueless person rises exponentially as more people are in the store.

We all know one of the types of clueless person I'm talking about; the one that walks their cart at a snail's pace down the middle of the aisle stopping to study every product even though they have no intention of buying it, making sure to block the progress of everyone behind them as they go from side to side.

You'd think after the 20th person says "excuse me" they'd get the hint they're in the way and maybe should pick a side for their cart, but they won't let anyone ruin that great shopping experience for them.

Or better yet, two friends walking side by side each with their own carts. Add kids or cell phones to the mix and you've got yourself a party.

Another one that gets me is the person going against the flow. Did you not notice that everyone is moving in one direction and you're going in another? Inevitably that person will stop their cart right next to another stopped cart, blocking the aisle in both directions.

And for the folks that don't know this, when the express lane says "10 items or less" or something similar, it doesn't mean your 12 bottles of Pepsi count as one item because it's all the same...IT COUNTS AS 12 ITEMS! The worst offenders of this are the people that buy huge amounts of greeting cards at BJs and go to the express lane because "they're just greeting cards". Yeah, but you got 50 of them. Get your ass in the regular line.

And speaking of BJs, one of the things I like to do when I'm their is browse the table of new books that they have. Why do people feel the need to push their cart right up to the table so no one else can get in to take a look? And why do people do that at the deli too? Are they afraid someone will come by and take stuff out of their cart so they must protect it as if their very lives depended on it?

My time isn't any more valuable than anyone else's. It's also not any less valuable. How about exercising a little courtesy and take up a little less space so folks can go about their business?

There's plenty of room for everyone provided no one takes more than their share.

[Shrek] A hero turns 60

2008-03-25T18:59:00.005-04:00

The greatest hockey player ever, Robert Gordon "Bobby" Orr, turned 60 on Friday. It seems like just yesterday that he was on the ice making opponents look like fools. Unfortunately numerous knee surgeries robbed fans of what was sure to be many more years of fantastic play. For those that didn't get to see his greatness first hand there is luckily lots of video.

There is a debate, lead by folks that don't know any better, about who was better: Wayne Gretzky or Bobby Orr. True hockey fans know that Bobby Orr could stop Gretzky from scoring, but there's no way on his best day that that Gretzky could stop Orr.

No one could.

Happy belated birthday Bobby...and here's to many more.

[Fiona] Jelly Beans, Jelly Beans!!!!

2008-03-23T10:14:00.003-04:00

Today is Easter! He is risen and there are jelly beans and chocolate rabbits everywhere. I am one of those people who just doesn't understand how a religious moment becomes a commercial. Don't get me wrong I used to enjoy the candy commercial part of this holiday. I just don't understand how both became entwined. I will not pretend that I am well versed in either tradition because I am a nonpracticing Catholic and I do not actively involve myself in holidays.Shrek and I have no wee ones and we are both too grown up for the childlike excitement about candy and gifts,most of the time anyway!

The reason I bring this up? I was over my galpal's last evening. I helped her and her kiddies color eggs. I had fun but what struck me was when her daughter asked why Jesus needed colored eggs? Did it make his egg salad taste better? With the way my brain works, the wheels began to turn. My galpal Jadi is amazing. After the kiddos were securely in bed she pulled all this magical stuff from boxes and bags and assembled each of her children a unique and personal basket of his/her very own. It made me miss the bunny part of my holiday of days gone passed.

In my opinion, for most children waking up on Easter it is not about Jesus rising from the dead. It is about candy and egg hunts and new clothes. It is about going to the grandparents and other relatives for family time and food.

The world is such a commercial place anyway. Hello advertisers? Hello religious leaders? Why can't there be an Easter and an easter? Two separated days, one for Jesus and religious tradition and the other one for the jelly beans and chocolate bunnies. We could do the same thing for Christmas. Win win for everyone invloved. That way children and perhaps parents could finally learn that one has very little to do with the other and more might learn what the real holidays are about. The upside? More time off people!

Happy Easter!

[Fiona] The Opener

2008-03-22T23:56:00.004-04:00

The world is made up of all kinds of people. Tall people, fat people, butt ugly...you get my drift. Some women shop, some women gossip, some women bitch and so on. In my lifetime I have been those other types of gal...oh the shopping sprees I have been on and though I hate to say it I gossip (doesn't everyone on some level?) and yes I can bitch with the best of them, just ask Shrek. What I am here to tell you is that I am an opener. That's right I like to open stuff. It matters not to me if it needs to be opened or not. I want to be the one who unwraps the box, or tears open the envelope, cuts the plastic wrap...sets it free. I have no idea why but it makes me so happy!

I feel like Charlie inside that chocolate factory unraveling the mysteries if only I can get to the nougat center. Shrek hates my opening obsession. If I can't open something I become like a little kid. I fidget, I whine, I get anxious. Shrek will tell me to relax that he'll get to it sooner or later. Oh no he won't. I swear he procrastinates over opening his packages, gifts,mail on purpose because he knows how antsy I become. I actually can feel my anger beginning to brim over the top as I sit and wait and wait and wait.

I have to admit that I will not wait for long. I just get to a point and then I open what I need to open. Shrek be damned!! He will get over being mad...Funny thing is that most times as soon as I get said item open I don't really care what is inside, or it doesn't belong to me, or I don't know how to use the item and Shrek needs to take over the lead position. My job afterall is finished I opened it didn't I?

[Shrek] The reports of my demise are greatly exaggerated

2008-03-22T14:01:00.002-04:00

Between writing for Sharkspage, getting ready for TotalCon, getting sick (not once, but twice), and just generally being busy, I finally have a few minutes to make a new post. Of course, it literally is just a few minutes, so this won't be very thought provoking and in all probability won't be very long.

On Monday something amusing happened just before bowling. I was looking at the schedule to see who and where I was bowling when another bowler nicknamed "Fitzie" came over to see who he was bowling. He asked me the date. All I could do was look at him in awe. After a few moments I managed to get out "Hey Fitzie, what date do you think it is?" He started at me blankly for a moment or two, smacked himself in the head and laughed, and walked away.

You'd have thought a guy named Fitzgerald would have the date of St. Patrick's Day committed to memory.

Another story...a few Saturdays ago Fiona and I, along with a busload of Worcester Sharks boosters, went to Albany to see the Sharks play. We've been there before, and have a favorite pub we like to go to right across from the arena. Well, in the month between visits there the pub had changed hands and was now a "fine dining" restaurant.

I think the next time we go to Albany it will have changed hands again as the menu was pretty pathetic for a place directly across from an arena. Plus the fact that the waitress screwed up my and Josie's beer order isn't a good sign either. We both ordered a Bass draught, and the waitress brought over Sam's Winter. Not even close to the same thing.

So we bailed out of there and to a place attached to the Times Union Center whose name I don't remember. The place is pretty full of River Rats fans, so we get the "evil eye" as we walked in. We found a table and one of the friendlies waitresses I have ever seen came over and welcomed us and gave us the "lay of the land" as it was.

As were were enjoying our drinks a guy walked up to us because we were wearing Sharks gear and talked to us for a good ten minutes or more about the the trip from Worcester and how it was his first AHL game in many years. The conversation went from sports to our respective cites and everything in between. It was like the old days when people could sit at a bar and have a drink or two and folks would find something in common to talk about for the few moments their lives interacted with each other.

It's stuff like that helps restore your faith in humanity.

I'm currently reading Sue Grafton's series (A is for Alibi; B is for Burglar, etc...). The first couple are pretty bad, but they get better quickly. My goal was to get caught up to her latest book by the end of February. I failed, mostly due to a lack of time. I just started L is for Lawless. Maybe I'll get to them all by summer.

For those with HBO, check out the John Adams miniseries. It airs on Sunday nights, and the first two have already aired so look for them "on demand". It's the best thing on TV in a long time, and now I wished I had DVR'd them all before watching the first two. The wait for number three is killing me.

Patience has never been something I was good at.

[Fiona] Will It Ever End??? ...

2008-03-15T20:13:00.003-04:00

that is to say winter. Oh lordie I am so over with this winter. I feel like I am going to lose my shit today. I had to go to work this morning. I awoke to rain and wind and flurries! No more with the snow, enough already!!!! Spring gods where are you?
I long for warmer days and sunshine. Colors of green and gold and purple will fill the world.I wonder if anyone has ever figured out why a New England winter has to be so damned grey. I am running out of patience. I thought that by now I would be tooling around town sans outerwear or maybe I could get away with wearing a light jacket. I want to be able to put on sandals and shorts and go to a baseball game. Since I am on a rant; how nice would it be to just go for a stroll without boots,hat,mittens,scarf,heavy coat. My mother used to get melancholy over Spring's arrival and I thought she was weird. I would kill to see a crocus right now! Or as my mom would say just one dumb daffodil! Just maybe mom wasn't so weird afterall.

[Fiona] SNOW DAY! STORM DAY!

2008-02-13T10:13:00.002-05:00

Shrek and I called out of work today. It is not something that I am ever overly proud about. However, I am on the oldish side and no longer find winter weather,i.e,storms to be fun or exciting. My bones are old and thus I wish to keep them in one piece and not several little shattered fragments. I used to be adventurous. So much so that Shrek would often say that I needed to learn my limits and live within those limits. A sentiment I hated to hear.

A few years ago I broke my leg in a fall on ice. Not fun at all. It cured my winter wonderland enthusiasm. I call out of work for crappy weather. Life is to short. I am not a surgeon or lawyer or other important must go to work profession. I work in retail.

[Fiona] The Subject of Tomorrow

2008-02-05T21:18:00.000-05:00

It used to be that I couldn't wait for tomorrow. The close of each day meant a new beginning...tomorrow. Tomorrow always brought me hope one more chance to get things right; my diet, my checkbook, my love life. I used to take tomorrow for granted. It will always be there, tomorrow. How could I have been so wrong?

All of my tomorrows changed May 15, 2004 with the passing of my kid sister. We had been through hell and back, her and I. Survivors, best friends, and sisters. We lived our lives in the best way we knew how. Thinking back there were days, memories now, we tried like hell to hold on to…that first kiss from a boy, Christmas mornings, birthdays…now only my secrets, my lies, and my truths remain. We can’t share “remember when” anymore. I wait for tomorrow uncertain of what awaits. Gone is that level of nervous excitement, replaced with the knowledge that all of my tomorrows are mirrored repeats of the days gone by since she passed.

How does a lifetime disappear in the flash of a moment? What were her last thoughts? Questions that can never be answered haunt me. We had just spoken at 5:40 p.m. the night before, how could she be dead? It just couldn’t be true. I awaken. It is still dark enough in my room that for a moment I am not sure I am alone. In my haze I call out, “Breny?” There will be no answer and that makes me sad. My pillow is wet from the tears I shed in my sleep. Quietly I slip out of bed and make my way into the darkness of the living room. Another night I don’t sleep. Sadness, tears, and memories keep me from sleeping.

She arrived February 6, 1967, and I was sure she belonged to me. How wonderful of my parents to have brought me a kid sister to play with! I don’t think I can remember a time when she wasn’t with me. I was the big sister. I took my job seriously. I taught her to read and write before she was in kindergarten. I protected her from school bullies. I taught her to ride a bike, climb trees, bake a cake, and play jacks.

She was the Ying to my Yang. We helped each other to survive childhood. We were more than sisters; we were friends. Breny used to say, “sisters by birth, friends by choice.” I often find myself wondering if she knows how much I miss her. I plod along, I try to find my way without her, and often I am afraid. My life will never be the same.

Tomorrow is her birthday...

[Fiona] Nothing to Say ?

2008-01-23T17:15:00.000-05:00

I opened my blog tonight with the intention of writing a great masterpiece...but it is not to be. I have writers' block. I have neglected this site since Christmas Eve. I thought that something amusing or moving might happen and it would give me something to wax poetic over. Wrong.

Shrek and I have returned to work. There's nothing quite like work to dampen a good time. This could very well explain my loss for words. Shrek and I work for a major retailer. Every year after Christmas it gets very S-L-O-W at work. Plenty of clean the facility and other stupid earn-your-paycheck type crap jobs to do. It is my least favorite time of year. I yearn for Spring.

Well on the up and coming...at the end of February Shrek and I will be going to his annual gaming convention. He games with friends all weekend while I go shopping with my girlfriends. A perfect time for all. I am really looking forward to going this year.

[Fiona] A Little Love

2007-12-24T20:52:00.000-05:00

It is Christmas Eve. Shrek and I ventured out earlier and brought home Chinese food. A tradition his mom started a few years ago. I actually look forward to it every year. I even saved points just for tonight. I am sure I ate more than I allowed myself but life goes on...

For the entirety of our marriage I have never been able to surprise Shrek.Tonight that changes. I bought him a Christmas gift. One I put extra thought into. I even managed to hide it in a place he would never look. I think he is just skilled at reading other people and would probably make a good judge, or cop, or poker player.

While we buy Christmas gifts for the people in our lives we never get gifts for each other as we both believe that love should be celebrated everyday not just once a year with a pretty box and a bow.

This year is different. Shrek, whom I love more than mere words can express, deserves to have a wonderful Christmas. So much has changed and happened to us this year that I just wanted to show him how much I really do love him. Shrek stands by me in sickness and in health. He loves me in the rain and wind. He loves me thick or thin. He is a one-in-a million and I am fortunate to love him and be loved by him.

Merry Christmas Shrek...I LOVE YOU

[Fiona] You Can't Mean Me

2007-12-13T19:32:00.000-05:00

OK I have finally calmed down enough to post this rant. What the cheese, people? Traffic lights still apply during a snow storm! Traffic should move in a forward direction cautiously and when the light changes: STOP! ! ! and calmly wait for your FUCKIN' TURN ! I left my place of employment today 45 minutes early because the inches where collecting rather rapidly. On an average day I live 10-15 minutes away. Today it took Shrek and I approximately 90 minutes to go the same distance. It was not all the weather's fault.

It never ceases to amaze me that the Average Joe thinks he is so much more important than the next guy. Listen up Ass! Yes, I mean you and you know who you are. Mr.Tough Guy, who is trying to push his girlfriend's stalled car at a busy intersection. In a storm we are all the same UNLESS you are driving a firetruck, an ambulance, a police vehicle or a plow. Just in case nobody ever told you; it is ILLEGAL to push a car with another car not to mention how brainless and dangerous it is. Here's an idea; buy your BITCH a good car. I noticed you were driving a tricked out SUV while she was driving some piece-or-shit leftover from the 80's. Here's another idea: AAA and a cell phone, for her. That way the next time she breaks down and it will happen( seeing she drives that beauty)she won't have to be embarrassed by your asinine behavior.

[Shrek & Fiona] Holiday Message

2007-12-09T08:15:00.000-05:00

As we are now in the holiday season, please accept our heartfelt holiday greeting:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "America" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Any and all applicable taxes that arise from accepting this greeting are the sole responsibility of the wishee.

Yours neutrally,
Shrek & Fiona

[Fiona] Ho ! Ho ! Ho !

2007-11-25T12:52:00.000-05:00

Do not think this about Christmas my friends for you are sadly mistaken. This is merely commentary to an event I witnessed on Southbridge Street last night. Dear Shrek and I attended an AHL hockey game at the DCU Center. The Worcester Sharks hosted the Providence Bruins. Good game. Fun for everyone but sadly, we lost.

A friend of ours met us at the game. We graciously offered to drive him homeward after the evenings festivities came to a halt. Well, being the "super organized femme fatale" that I am, I let my vehicle's gasoline reserves reach near empty proportions. After we were all comfortably seated in the car, I suggested to Shrek that we find an open pumping station. If I had only known...

From the DCU Center the best way to get to Route 290 West towards Auburn is via Southbridge Street in Worcester. Along Southbridge Street there are many abandoned businesses and a rail yard. It is not one of the nicest neighborhoods on a good day. It does, however; have a 24 hour Gulf gas station. The three of us pooled our money. With the impending hour looming near 11 pm, I sent Shrek into the station to secure $11 of gas from the Gas Gods.

Our friend,Skip,is an older guy in his early sixties. Shrek and I are barely into our forties. He's seen a little more of life than we have. Imagine my surprise when he was shocked to see a car loaded up with the usual "garden variety" whores. I know it wasn't that they were whores. It was more like; there's a gaggle of them and they are using this gas station as a "pump and go".

While Skip and I waited for Shrek to reappear from the depths of the store we watched as these "ladies" primped and strutted. One spent her time brushing her teeth (perhaps fresh breath masks just how much dick you've had). Skip's exact words,"I thought I had seen everything!"

Before our departure from this Port of Sin, Shrek reveled us with his first hand encounter within the confines of the store. Apparently a few of the ladies in front of him purchased enough condoms to satisfy the male population of local the naval academy.

After we had nourished our car with life giving fluids we drove off, leaving the ladies to their nasty business. Our stop at this station left me with a bad taste in my mouth. Perhaps, I should have asked to borrow a toothbrush and some paste.

[Fiona] Turkey Coma

2007-11-22T21:43:00.000-05:00

OMG! Today Shrek and I hosted not one but two Thanksgiving dinners. I am so sleepy. The manufacturers of sleeping agents really should do some research into the turkey induced coma. I am sure that the pies and other assorted weight bearing heavy cream filled goodies help fuel that bogged down I need a nap feeling but I am not sure. As the readers of this blog know I am WW member and so holidays are risky for me.

I did the best I could and I made sure to stop and think between courses. I ate the family recipe. A funked out bread and hamburg stuffing that has been poked and improved over the years. A personal favorite of mine. I peeled and cooked 10 lbs of potatoes and 4 gi-normous squash. My arms hurt. I burnt my thumbs holding turkey thighs as I cut meat into manageable slabs and I was happy. Happy that my sister made it from NY. Happy that my step-daughter and her little girl came. Happy that at end of this very long day I had not ONE dessert. Happy that I survived Thanksgiving.

[Shrek] A Few Words About Words

2007-11-20T18:17:00.000-05:00

I am addicted to books.

I am not ashamed to admit it, nor do I plan on doing anything to stop this addiction. I also think an intervention is unlikely as Fiona is also addicted, so at least for now I can live my life without worry of friends telling me to stop reading.

One thing that does bother me is book publishes taking advantage of us book addicted folks.

I understand that it costs a lot of money to publish a book, and while I cringe when I plop down $7.99 for a book that can't be found at the many discount retailers, I get the concept that without paying that much no one along the chain of writer-publisher-seller makes money, meaning that less books would be produced.

While I'd like the price to go back to the $2.95 it was when I started buying books, I'm not looking for them to drop the price. I get that the folks involved have to pay rent and eat just like everyone else. I do not begrudge anyone from making a little money while the book passes through their "step" in the chain.

But someone needs to tell me why the new paperback format costs $9.95.

Let me get this straight--only the print is larger, not the actual length of the book? And to accommodate this larger print you've made the pages bigger and spread the text over more pages? And for this you're charging me an extra $2?

Huh?

Case in point, the two books I'm reading now: Memorial Day by Vince Flynn, and Kushiel's Scion by Jacqueline Carey (no, not that Jacqueline Carey, the one that's a fantasy writer). Both are writers that I'd have no problem calling their previous works "great".

Memorial Day is in the new, larger format and font, and is 564 pages not including the preview if his next novel...$9.95 cover price.

Kushiel's Scion is in the standard format, and is 943 pages not including the preview of her next novel...$7.99 cover price.

Two bucks for less stuff? Huh?

Obviously the price didn't bother me that much as I purchased them both. What it really results in is now I'll be reluctant to try new writers when I see their stuff while browsing. Other folks I know have said the same thing.

That means, at least in theory, that people along the chain in the book selling profession will end up making less money. And in an economy where entertainment money is hard to come by for many folks, that could be another nail in the coffin for the book publishing industry.

Thank God for used book stores...there's lots of new authors I can try at half-cover price.

[Fiona] Fun With the Twins

2007-10-07T11:16:00.000-04:00

I went out last Friday night to the Manor Restaurant in West Boylston. A few girls from work had an idea about going out as a group to try something different. What a time we had. Dinner and drinks with a show. The Edwards Twins were the act. Identical twins well, almost. This dynamic duo of brotherhood perform an act they call "Celebrities on Stage". According to their website they do something like 150 different celebrities between them. Eddie handles the women while Anthony tackles the men.

Speaking for myself I didn't know what to expect. I drove to the Manor with mixed enthusiasm. The only celebrity impersonator I have ever seen (and he was on Merv Griffin at the time) was Jim Bailey. His impression of Streisand,topnotch. The memory of his performance played through my mind as I waited in the parking lot for my friends to arrive. Could this show be any good?

My gal pals arrived in plenty of time to enjoy cocktail hour. We were ushered to our seats, front row center. Damn Excellent Seats. I dare say the best seats in the house. Seating for six. We introduced ourselves to our table mates. I will call them J and K (to protect their innocence [wink wink nudge nudge]) nice people really. Easy dinner companions if you will. Through casual conversation we realized we all the know same woman. I should tell you that my gal pals and I all work for the same company and J ,of the now famous J and K Duo, works for a waste disposal company that services our company. It is indeed a small world, six degrees of separation and all that.

I do not want to bore the reader with endless details of what was served up for supper. Suffice it to say it was hot, tasty and came with chocolate cake and coffee. On with the show...

Good evening ladies and gentlemen....back story on the Edwards Twins...out pops Bette Midler.

Eddie hit the stage first as the Devine Miss M. He explained a little about their act and made a few witty remarks and then launched into his first skit. I was very impressed. His makeup, mannerisms and chat were Bette enough that it was easy to become lost in its effects to the point I cried when he broke into a rendition of "Wind Beneath My Wings". Anthony hit the stage next as the "Piano Man" Billy Joel. Very smooth; makeup right, hair/beard right...piano work excellent. I found myself clapping and singing along and really enjoying myself. The audience was treated to Barbra Streisand, Rod Stewart, Kermit the Frog, Elton John, Cher with and without Sonny and... well you will just have to catch a show to see who else showed up.

The answer to my question. Yes, the show was good. It was better than that. It exceeded my expectations; I would love to see their show again.

[Shrek] Doing a Little Housekeeping

2007-10-05T17:30:00.000-04:00

I've edited the blog a little...odds are you won't notice unless I mention what I did.

I've added a couple things to the links menu. The first is Sharkspage, the sports blog I post to covering the Worcester Sharks. The second is Fiona's Large Marge blog about her weight loss.

I've also trimmed the amount of blog entries shown on the main page to ten. It was getting a tad long the way we were doing it, and with the links to older posts on the right it seemed silly to have them all listed.

And lastly, I edited the title to show that we're ogres, not trolls. The "real" Shrek and Fiona would want it that way. ;)

[Fiona] WTF !

2007-09-30T18:54:00.000-04:00

Anyone who uses text messaging will recognize the gist of my feelings from the title. I went to my friendly, local WW meeting this morning. I lost 2.6 pounds this week. For the record, I have lost 89.6 pounds in 30 weeks. I have worked diligently at adopting and adapting new eating habits. Recently, I have even taken up exercise as well. So imagine my shock when my leader told me that I need to get a note from my doctor to continue my efforts as "corporate has been cracking down on leaders who allow people to lose more than the allotted average 2 pounds a week" OKAY! WHAT THE FUCK!?!

My WW meeting means the world to me. I have met some really incredible people there. In the book you get that very first week it says,"Please note : Everyone loses weight at a different pace. The success stories you see in the WW program materials are included for your inspiration and motivation. They are not representative of the results you may achieve." Even their own front office admits individual results may happen,from the mouths of babes.

In my lifetime I have lost and gained enough pounds to sustain 2 people. When I diet I stick to program and the weight falls off as it chooses not as I choose. I understand the concern. Sometimes people go to the opposite extreme. They become obsessed with losing weight and make themselves sick in the process. This week I will put a call into my doctor to touch base and make sure that I am indeed healthy. I am confident that the answer will be; yes, absolutely. I haven't felt this well since I was in my 20's.

Just so you know corporate people at WW. The best way to kill some one's best efforts is to pull a stunt like the one visited on myself today. My spirit and my efforts will not be crushed.

[Fiona] Large Marge Chronicles

2007-09-25T17:36:00.000-04:00

I have created a blog of my very own called oddly enough Large Marge Chronicles. I felt that it would be a good thing as it will only be about my experiences on my road to the "Land of Normal Sizes". I didn't tell Shrek of my intentions and he has informed me that he doesn't have a problem with me chronicling about my journey here. I will be blogging at both spots until I figure out what is best for me. So watch for up and coming posts about the crazy and off beat happenings I call my life. So goodnight kids as I am off to the gym to do water aerobics...

[Shrek] Television for the new season

2007-09-23T11:21:00.000-04:00

If you're not really interested in what Fiona and I will be watching during the new fall TV season, this will be a very long and boring blog entry. If you are interested, it will just be long.

Ever since Fiona and I decided to get the DVR through Charter we've been able to watch a lot more television shows than we did before we had it. Automatic recording (without having to deal with changing video tape), fast forwarding through commercials, and being able to watch the programs when we want make the DVR well worth the money. Finding the time to watch all the programs is tough sometimes, but it's still worth it.

Starting on Monday nights the DVR gets a workout as Fiona and I both go out that night. We'll be recording the NBC lineup that night, with new shows Chuck (website) and Journeyman (website) sandwiched around one of our favorite returning shows, Heroes (website).

Tuesday nights have just a couple of shows we're watching on CBS, with NCIS (website) being one we made sure not to miss even before we got the DVR. Fiona's favorite character is Abby, the heavily into goth forensic specialist. We'll also be checking out the new show Cane (website), although I'm not sure this one will make the cut.

On Wednesday the DVR will approach meltdown as it records five different shows, including two at the same time TWICE! We'll begin with Back To You (website), the only sitcom on our list. It started last week and stars Kelsey Grammer and Patricia Heaton. Fred Willard also stars, and that alone makes it worth watching. While we're watching/recording that, we're also recording Pushing Daisies (website), a show about a person that can touch dead people and make them alive again, and he uses that talent to solve crimes. It sounds...interesting.

At 9pm we have another two shows going at once, the Grey's Anatomy spin-off called Private Practice (website) on ABC, and the new NBC show Bionic Woman (website). One of these shows is probably going to kill off the other, so I suspect one will be moving or canceled before too long. After those two we'll be recording another new NBC show, Life (website). Of all the new shows, this one looks like the most likely winner. (If that isn't the Kiss of Death for the show I don't know what is).

Thursday is an easy night, with just Grey's Anatomy (website) on the docket.

Friday is another CBS evening, with Fiona's favorite show Ghost Whisperer (website). It's a show that I watched during season one, but I just couldn't get into it. The next is a new show about vampire fighters, Moonlight (website), an easy addition to our lineup. The evening ends with Numb3rs (website), a show that may be the best on television.

Saturday and Sunday sees just one show being recorded, Shark (website). Fiona doesn't watch it, and to be honest it isn't that great of a show. But it has James Woods being a continuous smartass, and I find that's enough to carry the show.

Other programs we watch but don't care too much if we miss is Mythbusters (website) on Discovery, Real Time with Bill Maher (website) on HBO (a show that Fiona says she "hates"), and an assorted amount of stuff on The History Channel.

So there you have it, the shows we're planning on watching...

...lineup subject to change, of course.

[Shrek & Fiona] A New Look

2007-09-15T10:23:00.000-04:00

Out with old, in with the new...

...well, new for us anyway. We've decided to ditch the black background and switch to a more eye-pleasing blue.

Fiona thought the black color was a look that was too dark, and made it difficult to read the posts. I had no opinion on the matter, so we made the change.

Compromises like this show why our relationship has lasted as long as it has.

[Fiona] Soup's On

2007-09-12T16:45:00.001-04:00

Shrek and I have a cat the color of Halloween. Her name is Esmeralda.We inherited her after the passing of Shrek's grandmother two summers ago. I have come to believe that she was named after Alice Ghostly's character on Bewitched. Like her name sake she is shy,reserved and tends to skulk about timidly before disappearing. She would rather hang around at your feet than be picked up and pawed (pardon the expression).

Every morning she and I share the same morning routine. My alarm stuns me awake at 5:00 am. I rub the sleep from my eyes and stroll into the lady's room. Esmeralda races me to the bathroom. She waits for me to alight the porcelain and then launches herself onto the counter where she strolls casually back and forth swishing her tail and mewling in my general direction. A quick flush sends her into a frenzy. This is the moment she has waited for...the water. Soup's On.

I try to wash my hands, she tries to get to the water coming out of the spigot. We push against each other. I give her a little room, she steps into the sink and attempts to take over. I shut off the taps and reach into the cabinets to get a washcloth and some towels for my shower and facial rituals. Each and every morning I care for my face utilizing the sink and an assortment of beauty secrets. A girl has to look her best!

Esmeralda watches as I run the water. The stopper goes in. The sink fills with hot water. It is beyond me why she thinks I am making her something to drink but every morning she must taste the "soup". In response to its lack luster flavor she flicks her head at me and turns her back on the sink. In a feeble attempt to enrich the soup's flavor she puts her tail into the sink and flips it across the water. As I continue with the scrubbing of my face, she stirs the soup. I pick her tail out of the water. She flicks it outward, soaking my nightie and promptly dips her tail back into the water. This time I pull it out and give it a quick squeeze so it is not dripping. She gives me that look. You know the one. She is pissed. How dare I wet her tail! Who do you think you are?

She jumps down,looks up at me,mews and leaves me to my own means. I think it's her way of saying, "Same time tomorrow?"

[Fiona] The Story of Large Marge

2007-09-07T20:58:00.000-04:00

Hello, My name is Fiona and I am an addict. I love food. Not for its nutritional values but for its textures and smells and delectableness (if that indeed is a word). I am the classic overeater. I eat because of what is eating me. Well, I decided in March of this year to give up the lifestyle. This Large Marge just couldn't take it or fake it anymore. My knees hurt, my back, my soul; there wasn't a square inch of me that wasn't suffering in some way. I needed to face facts...no Twinkie has ever been my friend. He has only been carefully disguised in gooey sweetness to entice me into believe that he and he alone could make me "feel better".

Being honest about the whys of my eating have not been easy. I never realized before that I viewed life through woe-colored glasses. I was the honored guest at my own pity party. There was no room for anyone else's problems, only mine. My hurt, my anger, my disappointments, my failures, I let them hang around my soul like the chains of Marley's ghost. I let the air out of the balloons and sent back all the gifts. That party is officially over.

As of now I have lost 78 pounds. It has been a path I tread not lightly but willingly. Some days it has been dark and scary and yet inviting at the same time for who knows what lies over that hill? I journey on not knowing where I will end up. On the way I have found that there are many people in my life who care for me deeply. Without their love and support I don't know if I would have made it very far on the road. I offer them my deepest thanks and only hope some day I will be able to return all the kindness they have shown and shared with me.

I am now several sizes smaller than when I started. I find myself at a crossroads of decisions. Decisions which should be easy for me to make and yet I find myself hesitating. I am not sure why. Could it be I fear the hill never flattens out? Or lessens? Or changes to smooth and even footing? I think it is that the territory I move in now is closer to a place I have only imagined I can be a part of. That's right, the "Land of Normal Sizes". A place I always thought was just a spot on the map of my life; a nice place to "visit" but there was just no way I'd ever be able to live there.

I now know that spot on the map is a real place. Not today but some day soon I will walk into the "Land of Normal Sizes" and I will fight tooth and nail to stay. To win the day "you must know yourself, stay true to yourself, and wrest your destiny from the grasp of life." Author unknown

Never give up on the person you are meant to become.

Words I try to live by.

[Shrek] The Unlikely Champions

2007-08-29T18:15:00.000-04:00

Earlier this summer I wrote about Fiona's and my first night of the summer bowling league. My plan, although I don't recall if I mentioned it as I was at the time more annoyed with Curt Schilling's sudden loss of testicular fortitude, was to simply stay loose over the summer and to enjoy the company of friends.

I figured we'd be good enough to finish no worse than the middle of the pack, and could hopefully play spoiler for the two teams I thought would be in the running to win the league. Nothing that happened the first couple weeks really changed my thinking, and we were all generally having fun.

Week three changed things.

I had promised Fiona we could go to the free Tornadoes exhibition game, and that game fell on a league night. So the day before the game Fiona and I rolled off ("pre-bowled" for all you ten-pinners), with both of us rolling a little over our averages. Josie and Rich then had to face our (at that point) unknown opponents. It turns out we bowled "the old lady" team that week, who decided they were going to "coach" Josie to make her a better bowler. Rich was able to get her to ignore them, and the two of them with our roll off scores absolutely shellacked the old ladies 8-0.

Rich and I exchanged a few e-mails about what happened, and when we all met up the next Tuesday Josie was still irked. And she took it out against the ghost team, helping us beat the invisible foes 8-0.

From that point on we were in first place, and spent every week after running away from the pack. We actually had a chance to lock in first place in week 14, but the teams chasing us didn't co-operate, but we still clinched first in week 16 as the teams behind us made one last futile push.

That made last night a "victory lap". The girls both had great nights, Rich kind of tossed the ball down the alley getting his boxes over, and I had a couple lobs that made me look like a slo-pitch softball pitcher. Along the way we had a lot of laughs, and for the only time this season, got skunked. Not that it mattered. The beer flowed freely, the pizza tasted great, and the fact how we bowled didn't matter made for a great evening.

I finished with the 2nd high average in the league (a book keeping error had me tied with someone else for 2nd, but it would have been too much effort to fix it so we let it stand), and Rich also got an individual prize.

Josie started week one with a 44 average. She ended the season at over 65. I have never seen anyone improve 20 pins in one season, even those like Josie that had never bowled in a league before.

Fiona ended up a little over her normal 66, and despite saying every week she hated the game, had a good time.

Together we made for some very unlikely champions.

[Fiona] The Choosing of the Stone

2007-08-15T20:57:00.001-04:00

Have any of you ever thought about what goes into choosing a stone? By this I mean a headstone for a grave. It is not as easy as it sounds. Color, weight, quarry, finish, lot size, all of these things have to be taken into account along with what will be sand blasted onto it besides the name(s) of the deceased.

This past weekend my father, my mom's sister and I went to Whitinsville to stone shop. My dad made the final selection through tear soaked eyes. It is a lovely stone from a Canadian quarry. It is sort of rose colored with the words together forever across the front with roses on either side of the wording. There is also a cross adorned with rosary beads (the 'rents are Catholic). The ovearall effect is quite beautiful.

I don't know why but going to my hometown to buy a headstone and check out my parents plot really made me sad. I think the reality of the end of life(for everyone I know and love) was just too much for my poor soul to bear. It's funny how I never realized just how much I love the people in my life.